Nice read here to where you into someone thinking hey wouldn't that be something, but finding to know hes only nice for a reason nice description upon the eyes being harmonic to ocean blue. Nice read here as always keep writing fellow writer.
An interesting piece about infatuation and possibly unrequited love. it is well written and my only suggestion, given that the word eyes appears on multiple occassions is to replace the last one in the line fifth from last with 'heart'. Perhaps use irisis instead of eyes in the first line.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
ahh ok. Yes I was very deeply infatuation with him, but thank you for reviewing and reading.
Nice job. Good flow, conveyed an overall emotion, and made me feel like I was there, shaking his hand too. WHILE you left me one detail, and an action so I could imagine it, but imagine it all how I would like it to be. Good job, again
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! Means a lot :)
Thanks to people like you I'm glad I had enough courage to .. read moreThank you so much! Means a lot :)
Thanks to people like you I'm glad I had enough courage to put these on here :) They're not as embrassing anymore.
11 Years Ago
I know how that is. I used to *still do sometimes* post a few poems about my gf. Either how much I l.. read moreI know how that is. I used to *still do sometimes* post a few poems about my gf. Either how much I love her, miss her, or want/need her. Though I prefer to have an image, a symbol really to reflect to the public which is usualy dark like Dracula, but right now I'm in a grey spot, so I decided to go with the italian word for Death. BUT it's hard to get the courage to write it down, but it also takes alot to post it for everyone to see. So I'm glad I could be encouraging. Again, thanks for sharing.
It is scary but thank you and I encourage you to post your writing on here :)
Thanks for revie.. read moreIt is scary but thank you and I encourage you to post your writing on here :)
Thanks for reviewing and reading :) Means a lot my friend
11 Years Ago
Thank you for the encouragement, but I think I've posted enough...atleast for now. Np, I feel I shou.. read moreThank you for the encouragement, but I think I've posted enough...atleast for now. Np, I feel I should review alot more than I do, so it works out great for both of us in the end, doesn't it, my freind?
Nice. I love the way you show what's going on behind the man's eyes. The way you keep coming back to them. You worked the repetition well, which in my opinion is hard to do. Good job!