Rain

old poem about 2008

Rain... she barely noticed it as it came down upon her.

It was hurting again. She didn't want it to hurt anymore.

She wanted it to stop. She wanted to be happy again.

No, not happy. That only made it worse.

She wanted to be numb. To feel nothing.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

It feels like the rain has brought the memories of pain with it for the person mentioned in this poem. I see a melancholic feel in the poem that holds the reader's mind... The ending line "She wanted to be numb. To feel nothing." speaks the pain or hurt she was going through...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[irene clairfontaine]

the kind of poem I read, and remember throughout the day. I liked it, truly.

[Katie Ann Nichols]

Thank you for the review I don't write poetry any more I'm mostly sticking to writing.

[Vria P Crow]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Subjectively, I have always interpreted "rain" as soothing. However, the speaker does not share the serenity.

CONTENT AND FORMAT

I envision the speaker to be standing in the rain under a structure such as a tree or sidewalk, holding her knees to her chest. She appears to be struggling with depression; the chronic pain distributed through her soul. This "rain" symbolizes her troubled disposition. I do not imagine that this would be a pleasant drizzle but rather a downpour. She often contradicts herself between wanting happiness and apathy. Readers can relate to this feeling. The speaker does not believe she deserves happiness because it can be lost.

SUGGESTIONS

Please feel free to dismiss any suggestions or critiques. This is meant to help you as a writer. I do not wish to make you feel overwhelmed. :)

1. IMAGERY: The prime image is the rain so I suggest describing it more along with the setting so you can take the audience with you.

(1) Is it a short lived shower, a drizzle, or a downpour from a storm?

(2) Where was she when the rain was hitting her?

(3) What event triggered this state of torture? A heartbreak? Loss of a loved one?

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Overall, I have deep empathy for the speaker. She has a voice that desperately wants to be heard. I see that this is an older poem. Therefore, the speaker and you have most likely changed. After this, I would like to read your current work for comparison. I hope this helps! Thank you for sharing!

sincerely,
ria