nature poem

yet another poem for school.

 

 

The branches are in stager

Even when cover with tiny greens

There branches can be seen

Leaves of tiny little spades

Grow in so great numbers

The one are more like bushes

I ask “Why do you grow here.”

 

You have spiny spikes

That covers your branches

You are well defended against your foes

Yet they let the littlest of ants pass

And the mightiest of axes can splitter

Your might defense

You answered “I’m where God want me.”

 

Besides you spiny spines,

The tiny feather like leaves

You provide a great treasure often over look

Nice beady round pods

With in it case are diamond shape seeds

That when finely grounded provide a flour

You add on  “So that you may be able to eat.”

Reviews

[Carrie Ott]

I REALLY like this one! I have a really good picture in my mind of what's going on. You've made a good point too - "I'm where God wants me."
In addition, from even the few poems I've read from you so far, I am beginning to see a pattern. That's good; you have a style all you're own. I've noticed you are superb at comparing two opposite characteristics of the same thing. For example, one of my favorite lines in the poem, "You are well defended against your foes/yet let the littlest of ants pass." Great contrast! Also, you have a great way with description - "tiny, featherlike leaves", "nice beady round pods", and "diamond shaped seeds" are very descriptive. Wonderful imagery. All in all, a great free-verse poem!
The only negative thing I've found is that there are still a few chinks in the areas of spelling and grammar, but that's definitely fixable. Just having an English teacher or someone look it over for those kind of errors should leave it coming out clean and even better than before!
Great job!