Day One

Ash immediately came over the next morning. I sleep all the time, and I was sleeping. He jumped on top of me. “WAKE UP GRACE” I groaned and told him to get the f**k off of me. “Testy are we?” I eventually sat up.

“I hate you.” I said.

“No you don’t.” He was right I didn’t, but at the moment I disliked him very much. “Grace, We need to go, I need you to hang out with me this summer okay?” I told him about me trying to be more social. I didn’t think it’d begin on the first day.

“But, I want to sleep in, it’s summer.” I protested.

“You’ve slept in plenty, it’s nearly ten, get up girl, get up.” He said in a southern accent. A terrible one. But it was the best he could do, being from Canada and all. He could sound very Canadian if he pleased.

“Does it have to be now?”

“Now or never.” I thought about that, now or never? That was an interesting thought. Now or never. I got up and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we got into his car. I wasn’t allowed to drive, due to my mental state. Ash was the only one who knew what I tried to do outside of my family, and my teachers.

“We’re going to get waffles at Bruges, Louis and Devin will also be there.” He told me.

“I don’t want to interrupt your bromance.” I said to him.

“Don’t worry, you won't. I didn’t want Louis having to third wheel between Devin and I. Our chemistry is so strong you know?” I rolled my eyes and mumbled something bitchey that Ash ignored and I said.

“I suppose.”

Something that Ash would talk about to me, was allowing stories to happen to me. To us. He wanted the stories to happen. He said that I needed to have more good things to outweigh the bad things. I guess it made sense. He sounded like my therapist a lot of the time. I did appreciate it though. We arrived to Bruges Waffle house and we waited for Louis and Devin to show up. “So how are you?” Ashed asked me.

“I’m getting along.”

“No. How are you really doing Miss Olivia Grace Reynolds?” That was my full name, he used it more than my own mother did. I didn’t like the name Olivia when I was little, so I just started having people calling me Grace because there was another girl named Olivia and I thought she was mean and I didn’t want people to confused me with her, on top of having what I used to think an ugly name. It’s not so bad now that I am older and I think if I ever move anywhere far away, I’m gonna have people call me by my first name. Sort of symbolic to the fact that I have grown up and I have moved on from being Grace. I

“Some days are worse than others.” I tell him. I would have continued on with a real heart to heart, but Devin and Louis walked in at that moment and I heard.

“Look it’s Girly!” That was what Louis always called me. He refused to call me Grace because he enjoyed annoying me. He probably thought I was a prude or something, when in reality, I’m probably just as perverted as the other three boys. Most likely more than Ash. Devin and Louis I was equal with. Though Devin could out do me at times.

I felt myself receding into my shell and trying not to draw attention to myself. No, you are not a snail. Stop that. I told myself and I pulled out of my hunched position and tried to be as sociable as I possibly could in that moment. Ash and I had already ordered. I just got a plain old waffle because I was trying to be healthy in all aspects of my life. I’d gained a bit of weight from being depressed and such. Mostly because I’d take spoonfuls of that Nutella stuff and just eat it. So I was skinny in theory. But I did have some chub going on. I felt self conscious about it. Devin and Louis took their sweet time ordering and then they started talking about things I wasn’t interested in and I stopped paying attention. “Looks like we’re boring Girly over here.” Louis said. I looked over to his attractive face and said nothing. I didn’t know what I could have said if anything. Ash started to pipe in as if realizing I was there. I immediately shushed him by saying.

“I knew I was going to be here for your man date, my bad.” I told them all. I said it monotonously because that was how I felt about it. Indifferent. When they were all done eating, (I was the first to finish of course,) we all piled into Ashes car and I got shot gun because I’m the best friend that that was Ash’s rules in his car. I didn’t know where we were going, but I just decided to go with it because what was going to happen?

Absolutely nothing, that was what happened. We all went over to Devins large house with all the fancy things in it. They sat there playing video games, and I watched them. I ended up falling asleep. I was woken up when Ash and them had finally turned it off, they were talking about stuff and I stirred and finally sat up because I figured I couldn’t sleep through their talking. “Looks like someones up.” Devin said. He has a wonderful smirk and it made me light headed everytime he addressed my existence because I did find him so physically attractive. They were all nice looking boys. But Devin, he had this brown hair and these green eyes and I was just a sucker for green eyes. I don’t know why, but I have always been a girl for green eyes. But his hair was always nicely cut, but not too short, and he was taller but not as tall as Louis. Louis was maybe six four, while Devin was maybe six one. Louis was blonde haired blue eyed and he was very attractive as well. I just found him obnoxious. But his hair was more on the fluffy side. I have a thing for boys hair. Louis and Devin were on the Lacrosse team at our school together, that was how he came into Ash’s group second semester sophomore year. But I am getting side tracked and I do that a lot.

“Y’all guud Grace?” Ash asked me in his terrible southern accent. Than Louis chimed in,

“You been doin’ fine Ms. Grace?” Louis asked me. It was a real southern accent.

“How’d you do that?” I asked him surprised by his voice. He only smiled and said nothing as everything interesting about him had to remain a secret till another time. I rolled my eyes as the boys started talking various ways. Devin did some Russian thing that failed miserably, it was like a mix between a German accent and a English accent. While Louis was going on with his southern accent, and Ash went to being Canadian. I sat there and said nothing. Eventually Ash and I left.

On the drive back he aske, “That was wasn’t so bad was it?” I shook my head. It really wasn’t. I went and got on of the many books I’d meant to read and never did. I tried to read I just always got bored, or sometimes angry with the characters in the books and I couldn’t finish it. The first book was going to be called If I Stay. I never finished it because something tragic happens and then someone close to the character dies, and I just got so mad that I couldn’t finish it. I didn’t want to see the ending because I was too mad at Teddy for dying.

I picked up the book and I tried reading in my house but I couldn’t. People were too noisy in my home. My mother was always yelling for no goddamn reason which never failed to annoy me. So I went out with the book in my hand. I walked around for a while and never actually opened my book. But walking around the neighborhood made me feel claustrophobic. I was looking at this small town, and the quiet neighborhood, and I was thinking about how I don’t belong there. I don’t know why I was put in this small town and why I was so sad even though I had no real reason to be. I didn’t understand why I didn’t seem to be able to get along with anyone my own age.