The Present

“Hi.” he said to me while he shut his car door.

“Hi.” was all I said back to him. We sat there in silence for a while, and he finally asked,

“Shall we go?” I nodded. We started walking into the the night. Though this time it was different. We didn’t hold hands like we’d used to. He didn’t call me “Girly”, nor did he call me “Grace”. We walked into the park like we used to all summer long. Louis changed me, and then I lost it again, and he didn’t know what to do. I told him to leave. I was the one who told him to get out of my life, but there isn’t a single person alive who I could want more in my life.

“I’m sorry.” I said really quietly all of the sudden as we walked. I didn’t think I said it loud enough, because he didn’t say anything either. So much was different. There was snow covering the ground, it was cold and frigid, where months before we’d been running around in shorts and complaining how hot it was. Now we were in coats and sweaters, we had on boots and hats. We didn’t hold hands and we didn’t say much. I hadn’t spoken to Louis since August, when I broke again. Suddenly he stopped and turned to me,
“Grace.” I stopped and faced him, his blue eyes and blonde fluffy hair was all the same to me. I almost smiled, but I didn’t because of the situation we were in. I gave him a look of question, and he started talking. “I wish you would have told me, that you were feeling that way again. I could have helped. I could have understood, and we might not be here now in this situation if you just said something.” I couldn’t tell if he was angry or disappointed. It was probably both. I expected him to pull out a cigarette and smoke, but he didn’t. He was trying to quit according to my friends. I didn’t know what to say, and here I was and all he wanted me to do was to say something.
“I know.” I said quickly as he started to look away from me. “I know I should say something. I just…” His head was turned to me and he didn’t say anything. It was crazy to think that not so long ago, felt like years.