Contradiction

I wrote this poem when I thought I had absolutely nothing going for myself in life :(

I'm a contradiction to myself
Want but not the help
Love but hate life
Want but not to die
Knees so weak
Still stand strong
Words form a verse
But not in a song
You were my all
You were my nothing
You stole my heart
I never cared for you
I'm a contradiction to myself
Want but not the help