a lonely iconoclast

She was beautiful and everyone loved her
and she chewed fruity gum that made her breath smell sweet
as she laughed in the faces of the boys that wanted her.
But one day someone told her that she was ugly
and she would never forget that.
So she starved herself to be beautiful
and she stopped chewing the fruity gum
because she worried how many calories it had.
Nobody loved her and the boys didn't want her
but they took her anyway, ashamed by the skeleton
that lay in their bed.

 

Reviews

[fireblossom]

I like this. It made me laugh and then made me sad...good poetry.

[kublakhan27]

This is a really powerful piece, I'm shocked it doesn't have more reviews...the skeleton image that closes it out really drives the point home...well-done.

[Scarlett-Helena]

This is an insane amount of good and truth. The ego is as fragile as you've excellently portrayed. This really struck a chord in me, because there have been so many times when someone's comment has not only ruined my day, but sometimes weeks or months into the future. It can change who you are in a second if you hear something differently than you normally hear, even if the person who said it had only one intention, which is to knock you down so that they can gain advantage.

This really is a stunning poem, because you don't expect it to go in the direction that it's going to go, even though it should be expected that beauty and self-confidence never last forever.

[W.k.kortas]

There is a weeeeeee bit of Edgar Lee Masters in here, and a wee bit of Masters is a very good thing. I think it reads a little unfinished, perhaps, but I'm not convinced of that--there's a certain sparseness about it that's appropriately skeletal.

[Forest Green]

Peer pressure; the bane of female individualism. How many sparkling personalities have been diminished by the onslaught of daft opinions.

Good write...!