Alter

I could feel my heart beating against my chest. It was loud, I could feel the muscle working, the veins pumping, my breathings as if I was in a race, my eyes harshed by the light, my ears ringing a silent ring, deafening, my eyes, heavy from the lack of sleep.

I looked outside the glass door, and saw no white clouds present. The trees so bright green, the mist, making my eyes blurry from afar.

I saw my reflection on the glass door. I saw my face, so weary. I saw my eyes, even without a second glance, I could see the anger, the pain, the sadness, and the coldness I held. I smiled, but I could still see the depths held in my eyes.

The anger of how the world was so unfair to me, to my ever present life. The pain of what my heart felt. The sadness held on for so long, buried that it resurfaced. And the coldness.

The coldness that resurfaced so recently, and discovered just a few months ago. This alter ego of my cold side where everything is compressed, thrown, and upside down. I could feel the pain that it had caused anger. I could feel the sadness towed away, the empathy gone, the softness gone, but the grace was still there.

Even with the cold temperature in the room, I felt no cold. I didn't feel numb, but rather, an alter ego presenting its moment. Slowly throwing the leftover empathy and softness left.

How long would it take until my alter ego completely takes over?