Either Way

Either way, I look, everything reminds me of the pain that I feel.

Even with the smiles and laughs, I knew when I stopped the smiling, tears would appear.

Even with the neat clean way I look, I knew I was a crying mess inside.

Even with the contented way my heart feels, I knew I was not contented.

Even with the liveliness I have everyday, I knew I was dead inside.