You Make Me Feel Like A Paradox

I couldn't explain the emotion I felt when you're around. I could feel angry but happy. I could hate you but love you. I could cry mentally, and smile. I could fall and break, and at the same time I could fall and never blame you for the pain. I miss you and never miss you. You make me feel like a paradox. Sometimes I wonder, do I still love you? Would I seem happy when I'm with you? Would my mixed emotions cease, and all I'll ever feel is you?

I'll say I'm okay but I never will be okay. But because of you, I pretend I am. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you that I'm sad because of you. Because I didn't want you to disappear. I wanted you to stay even if I'm hurting so much.

I pretend to be happy when I'm not, for you. I pretend to smile even if I wanted to cry so much. I pretend just for you because your happiness means so much more than mine.