Ask an Economist: I traveled all the way to my friend’s wedding–can that be my gift?

It is good you have come to me with this, as weddings are fundamentally an economic transaction. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! The goal of a wedding is for friends and family to provide the newlyweds with the basic necessities that they will need in their new home. You know, things like a dozen ramekins and an electric egg cooker.

photos:http://www.marieprom.co.uk/evening-dresses

When you, in turn, get married, these friends will do the same for you. What this means is that at each wedding you pay a little bit, and then when it is your turn, you get it all back at once. You can think of a wedding as a big “Christmas Club” or ROSCA; you pay into it little by little and it pays out all at once.

This basically means that you should spend as much on them as you expect them to spend on you (or as much as they did spend on you).

This is, of course, all quite unfair if you never plan to get married, since you’ll never be the one on the receiving end. Weddings were designed for a time when most everyone planned to get married. Today, there isn’t much social grace in telling people you are not buying them a gift because you don’t plan to get one yourself. You’ll just have to swallow the unfairness, and throw yourself a blow-out housewarming party when the need for ramekins gets to be too much to bear.

If you’re traveling to get to the wedding and paying for a hotel room, etc, can that be your “gift”?

No. See logic above. However, when you get married, feel free to have an expensive destination wedding and demand that they come too.

Read more:http://www.marieprom.co.uk/formal-dresses