"I would never tell you this"

This is a poem written knowing I had a choice between two people I deeply care about. This is my way of saying what I wanted to to the other person that i miss so much.

I would never tell you this
I think about what you would say
About the things I hear and deal with everyday
I think you would tell me "I told you so"
That you know something I never saw
Before I knew my decision was wrong.
Maybe you were able to see
The sometimes awful things and ways he treats me.
He's never raised a hand to hurt me
But the words hurt just as much.
 
I would never tell you this
Even if it was the last chance I had
To tell you what's sat on my mind for so long
Because I would have to admit I was wrong.
I know you would just shake your head and say
"I told you so, you should have gone the other way".
And sometimes I wish I did but I didnt have a crystal ball
To tell me how much I would lose
To tell me I would still miss you.
It's not everyday I think about this
It's enough for me to know
I thought it would just go away
It didn't, I wish I knew what you would say

I would never tell you this
But things aren't perfect
That's what I was looking for in those days
I would never tell you this
Because I know you aren't there for me to tell.
The one person that would understand it all
Is living a life of his own.
 
I would never tell you this
I don't want you to see
The tears I hold back everyday
The dreams I have that tell me that I can't change
The path I took
Not that I would
I know it was my choice
I know it was right but not for me
I have my kids and they need a family.
You were stuck in the middle
Didn't have much of a say
 
I would never tell you this
But if it all fell apart
I would be looking for you
The one who stole my heart. 
 
 

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Song of Mercy]

beautiful write on a topic that is something you simply cannot tell very many people about. As a person who has dealt with emotional abuse I want to say you captured the essence of what it feels like. This in my mind is art...the expansion of a truth to the point others can see it. Well done. Thanks for sharing, Barb

[Elexis123]

I love this poem... Ok i want to know who is the other person who stole your heart that you won't tell.. Lol