h i m.

It's about being in love with my former partner, whom I have known for 2 years now. I constantly find myself comparing other people I meet, to him.

I like how comfortable I feel around him, how comfortable I feel to be my true self.
 He feels like home after a rough day.
 The way he smells, no one smells like him.
How soft his feet are.
 The way he eats, he's a quiet eater.
His hands, I've never seen anyone with hands like his.
I like how he never forces me to do anything, everything comes and feels natural.
We can lay down next to each other in our own space without cuddling and not feel awkward.
He notices small things that most men don't usually notice.
How organized he is.
I love that uses girl deodorant or that he uses lotion (some men don't)
Or when he treated my armpits when they were covered with ingrown hair and very sore, he wasn't disgusted by touching them. (that made me like him so much more)
How clean his toilet seat is (indicates he either is good at aiming or he's just really good with cleaning his seat after peeing lol)
How much I love seeing that vulnerable emotional side of him.
Always disliked or felt indifferent about birthmarks but I constantly find myself admiring his, they remind me of constellations.
Gosh, I wish I was able to give him a love he's never experienced before.
I liked the idea of him but fell in love with his vulnerable flawed self.
There's so many things I constantly find myself thinking about and comparing to you when I meet someone..

"Him." 

Author's Note

I decided to share this writing because I would like to know what other people think of it. Not only is it my first writing but it's filled with emotions. I plan on sharing this with him but would like some feedback before I put this into handwritting. This wasn't meant to be perfect, it was all about putting raw, real emotions into words.