42

In one of my more snarky moods, this started out as “100 Things That Annoy Me,” but I thought that that was just too easy, and not good for anyone.

 

I have decided that I don’t much like my own attitude lately, I’ve just become too mean and snarky.  I don’t like that in others, and I certainly am not liking it in myself.  So I’m really trying to limit my sarcastic comments and not say mean things that I know I shouldn’t say and basically do my best not to let people annoy me.  Because really, truly, honestly, the majority of people I come into contact with do so annoy me, in one way or a dozen!

 

But I’m trying, really I am.  I actually caught a comment halfway out of my mouth today and stopped!  I know, it was a shock to me, too, because I really don’t have much of a filter anymore, as anyone who knows me can attest.  I’ve become that old lady who stands out in her yard in her housedress, slippers and curlers, swinging her broom and yelling at the kids to get off of her lawn.  Oh my gawd, I’ve become Maxine!

 

In an effort to change my own outlook and attitude, I decided that for every item that annoyed me, I had to find an item that pleased me.  I thought it was going to be hard, but before I knew it, I had two lists of way too many items, and my good list heavily outweighed my bad.  Who knew?

 

The entire list would put you to sleep, so what’s a good number, for anyone’s mental health?  Ah yes, perfect, 42, the Ultimate Answer!

 

21 Things That Annoy Me

1. Intolerant people (yes, I see the hypocrisy here, I annoy myself frequently)
2. People who talk on the phone and/or text while driving (or put on their makeup, or shave, or eat their breakfast with both hands, or read the paper, or … hello, people, pay attention and DRIVE!!!)
3. People who vote for change and then are outraged when change happens (I have a lot to say on this, but I try to keep it to myself because I don’t like talking politics, it’s usually wasted time, no one is changing their minds)
4. People paid an enormous salary to do less in a month than I do in a day (there’s not enough space here for my thoughts (mean, nasty, rude, sarcastic, you name it) on this one!)
5. More than three meetings in any one day (and you want it when????)
6. That Houston paid a zillion dollars to make school zone signs that apparently just apply to me and three other citizens in the entire Houston area (hey, you, idiot, SCHOOL ZONE!!!)
7. Children and teenagers with no manners or respect (see below)
8. Parents of children and teenagers with no manners or respect (there really is no good excuse for bad parenting.  You chose to be a parent, step up and do your job and raise your kids to be productive members of society, with manners and respect for the people they will need to interact with every day)
9. That I’m dependent on so many darn gadgets (and someone please stop me before I buy yet another one, I’m begging you!!)
10. People with big mouths and tiny brains (and why are those usually the people that have to be the center of attention?)
11. People who won’t stop trying to convince me to see their point of view (yes, I patiently listened to you the last eighty eight times, and I’m still not buying it)
12. People who spend their work hours taking care of their personal business (on this, I could write a 42-volume series!)
13. People who embellish (lie!) on their resume (if you say you’re an expert in Excel, you should at least know how to sort a document!)
14. People who let their dogs crap where other people walk (!@#$%^&)
15. People who don’t wear the correct sized clothing (I want to yank those baggy pants off that boy who can barely hold them up and put them on the spandex-wearing big girl who thinks she looks “cute”)
16. People who say “we’re” in charge of a major project, but whose only contribution is forwarding e-mails (oh, my bad, forgot to mention the time spent in a quadrillion meetings telling me how we should do things after I’ve already got them done, and see #4 above)
17. My own attitude, as I can’t keep my mouth shut and catch myself before I’m snarky (I’m trying to change, at least in my daily interactions with others (and thank goodness I can still snark in my writes, although I need to be more careful there, too, probably))
18. People who don’t take responsibility for their mistakes, or refuse to acknowledge that they make mistakes (I’m just so honored to be working with the only two perfect people in the universe, aren’t I just the luckiest girl alive??)
19. People who get offended easily and by everything (it’s certainly your right to be offended, and it’s my right not to care that you’re offended)
20. Parents who involve their children in their own disputes and/or make them choose sides (you should be immediately sterilized, and ashamed of yourself for warping innocent minds!  Fight your own battles and leave your kids out of it!)
21. People who lie to make themselves seem important (I certainly can’t be the only one who’s learned that our lies almost always have a way of biting us in the butt, and they’re so much harder to remember than the truth)

Okay, now take a deep breath and let all that yuckiness go.  People will do what they want and there’s nothing we can do about it, so why waste our time worrying about things we can’t control?  Let’s celebrate the good things in life!

 

21 Things That Please Me

1. A smile from a stranger (the pleasure of that keeps the smile on my face just a little longer)
2. A sincere compliment (where nothing is expected in return)
3. A door held open, for either gender, by either gender (your mama raised you right!)
4. People with a work ethic (why is it that 20% of the people do 80% of the work?)
5. People who love their jobs (it shows in the quality of their work)
6. A new episode of The Big Bang Theory (no eating or drinking, it’s almost impossible to laugh and cough and breathe and swallow all at the same time, believe me!)
7. A new Sheldon-ism resulting from a new episode of The Big Bang Theory (my favorite so far: “I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy? Do you realize what this means? All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!” Sheldon Cooper)
8. A challenging game of Scrabble or Wordtornado (thanks to my most worthy opponents!)
9. People who are willing to learn anything you want to teach them (an open mind truly is a terrible thing to waste!)
10. Laughing (giggling, snorting, gasping, snickering, I love it all, amuse me!)
11. My Kindle (the greatest invention since the written word!)
12. A hug from a friend (enough said)
13. Common courtesy (please, thank you, and yes sir are really not so hard to say, I promise it won’t kill you!)
14. A sincere apology (no reasons, no excuses, no justifications)
15. Challenge and encouragement (how I learn best)
16. Getting the chance to play Aunt Laura (or Aunt La-La) to my friends’ kids (for a limited time only!)
17. Spending time with family and friends (yes, I sometimes snark about having to “go out,” uh, hello, have you met me?  I snark about everything.  But I always truly enjoy the time spent)
18. A real, written on paper, sent through the mail, with a postage stamp, letter from a friend (I absolutely LOVE getting Dana-monster mail from across the pond, especially if there’re pictures of my Clare-bear included!!)
19. Coming home, from anywhere (no matter what kind of day I’ve had, where I’ve been, what I’ve done, what idiots are in my path, the thought of home gets me through everything)
20. Co-workers who are capable and dependable and who work for the benefit of a company, not for the sake of a paycheck (not that the paycheck isn’t important, but we earn a paycheck, taking a paycheck without earning it is stealing)
21. Finishing a write (that last click of the save button and the conversation with myself (and TABL, and CL) that follows: “That’s it, you’re finished.  I really should check it just one more time.  No, leave it alone, let’s go look at the write we started last night”)