fresh face

fresh face

A Poem by Sarah's words
"

cover up, buttercup :(

"
I want a girl with a natural look, makeup isn't honest.

sorry hun, but when i wore a fresh face, you told me I looked tired.


© 2018 Sarah's words


Author's Note

Sarah's words
any comments are awesome!! :)

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Reviews

Make-up or not. I believe woman are beautiful. I liked the answered given. Thank you Sarah for sharing your entertaining poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sarah's words

6 Years Ago

Thankyou for your words, Coyote :)
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome dear Sarah.
Honestly, I don't know how to review this "poem", but I will try my best.
I think everyone has the right to a personal opinion as long as it doesn't hurt others and I also think that people shouldn't change their actions/opinions just to be favorized by others(in this girl's case, she decided to wear make-up because a person told her that she looks tired when she didn't cover her face with cosmetics).
Your poem is written as two dialogue lines between a male and a woman.
The line "I want a girl with a natural look, makeup isn't honest.", spoken by the male, represents his personal opinion about cosmetics and what women shouldn't wear. Maybe "make-up isn't honest" is way too much(Personally, I never heard someone saying that). Maybe you should've placed "make-up isn't honest" in a more...delicate way.
The line "sorry hun, but when I wore a fresh face, you told me I looked tired." represents woman's answer to the male. It also represents her choice to wear make-up after he told her that she looks "tired" without cosmetics on her face. Then, if the woman wants to express her freedom and the right to an own opinion and action, why did she change when the male told her that she looks tired without make-up?
It confuses me a little.

However, maybe you should try to rethink and rewrite the poem because I think the message you wanted to transmit isn't well expressed in those lines.

I hope you understood what I wanted to transmit and that I didn't bother.

Good luck!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Sarah's words

6 Years Ago

Hi jes! thank you very much for reading over my poems, and giving good feedback, I truly appreciate .. read more
Jes' Pi

6 Years Ago

Hello.
Now I am able to understand.
Well, as I Said before, the message is good, you .. read more

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Added on January 14, 2018
Last Updated on January 15, 2018

Author

Sarah's words
Sarah's words

Earth, Universe, Canada



About
I hope my words can inspire and introduce new perspectives and ideas to the world!! I'd love to eventually start a movement using my words and art, and potentially with the help of others!! I've j.. more..

Writing