Summer Waiting

A ballad I wrote for school..Hope you enjoy!

“The time has come for me to leave,  

But I shall come back soon,

Whether by burning summer light,

Or by guidance from a winter moon.”

“But why is it you have to go,

Why can you not just stay?

Promise me that you will return,

Promise me this day.”

“A vow is easier said than kept,

But on a summer night,

If you hear my footsteps on the porch,

A candle you shall light.”

With promises sealed and embraces exchanged,

His heart weighed down with ache.

A polished gun and words of hope

Was all that he did take.

He crunched the falling autumn leaves

Stained with hues of gold.

She made his favorite pumpkin pie,

And watched the days unfold.

The howling blizzards he did endure,

His veins cold and bruised.

Christmas knocked on her doorstep,

But she silently refused.

He watched Nature’s spring flowers bud,

And make their fresh debut,

She slept to showers pattering,

And awoke to shining dew.

Summer heat and candle fire

Awaited his return,

But she never heard footsteps on the porch,

Alone, she watched them burn.

Author's Note

In what ways do you think I could have made it more emotionally touching to the reader? What did you feel when reading this ballad?

Reviews

[CriticalPinapple]

Impressive 23 views since 1/26.

stanza:
“A vow is easier said than kept,
But on a summer night,
If you hear my footsteps on the porch,
A candle you shall light.”

is everywhere because the third line, but also because the second line is really just a filler. And you can tell. I don't know, I am not great at poetry, but something in that stanza made me stumble as I read.
I understand the importance of it because of the end, but try editing it.