A couple suggestions?
All your stanzas have an ABCB rhyme scheme except for the first one. You might want to change the last line in that 1st stanza to something like, "I want my sweetheart back"
Also, I know spelling doesn't count in poetry, in fact, you can even make up your own words, but the last word on the last line should be cries.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
thank you karen,lol,learn something every day..never heard of a scale,but it sounds nice
i am.. read morethank you karen,lol,learn something every day..never heard of a scale,but it sounds nice
i am a total ameatur
Love this. It touches a certain sentimental part of me, a part I never knew existed in this heartless entity haha, will keep an eye out for more of your work.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
thank you for the visit! they usually touch me after i write them.
just ask, golden glove boxer years ago,us army veteran ,a contractor is how i make my living,
i am an amateur writer.. been here since june of 2013,couldn`t write then,still can`t.but who cares
i .. more..