The Golden Years

I woke this morning,well around ten

i laid in the bed for a few minutes

before i tried to get up and get going

i sat on the side of my bed letting the blood

run to my feet

I struggle to get up and make it to the bathroom

i go to the desk and get out my pill holder

i take about 14 in the morning to get me started

i go to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee

while the coffee is making i feed the cat

then i rake up last nites scraps and feed the dog

i take my shower at night,i rinse my mouth with mouth wash

put in my teeth and go get my coffee

Check my e mails and phone messages check the calendar

to see if i have a doctors appointment,if i dont i get ready for work

i wish i could retire but i don`t draw enough social security

and i`m still waiting on the v a`s decision for my compensation

well it`s only been two years since i applied

i guess there busy with others like mine

vietnam 1969,i can still smell the dying flesh

i have a lot of bad memories ,hell we all do

When i work it wares me out,i have to rest a lot

i don`t take care of my self as i should,i have trouble sleeping

wake up at night seeing people in my room.i am used to it though

sometimes it scares me and i jump up to fight,but no one is there

they call it p t s d

I get mad at the drop of the hat,

sometimes i say things without thinking.but that don`t mean i`m sorry

the golden years,yeah right,i hardly see my family

and rare to catch a word with a friend ,don`t have  time between doctors and working you know,

They want to replace my knee but i wont let them

i`ve had 3 heart attacks,chronic kidney disease,border line diabetic what ever that means,pain in my toes and feet .my left knee is shot and the right one

well on it`s way.chronic artery disease ,chronic ptsd ,depression ,acid reflus,sleep apnehia ,loss of hearing ,poor eye sight,and oh yes, a heart murmur ...

The golden years,just waiting on god

Reviews

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh wow Ron this just hit so hard. Thank you for your service, for your sacrifice so people like us and my children have a safe place to rest our heads!! No one every can say it enough, what you all go through to keep "our freedom" is beyond any thank you i could ever give!

[wordman]

thank you very much,it wasn`t about me sereena

[sereenaoutloud]

sorry you wrote it so well.. with such feeling it felt like it was a personal write ! :)

[wordman]

lol i dont have false teeth,yet

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL...too funny :))

[wordman]

you know i`m the w/c clown

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you are for sure...always make me laugh anyways....oh accept for your writing..you had me crying twice lol

[wordman]

i can bring them tear jerkers,

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you can. STOP IT...heheheh need to keep my box of kleenex by me when i read your writes to catch all the tears!!

[wordman]

oh! i`m not that good