The Golden Years

I woke this morning,well around ten

i laid in the bed for a few minutes

before i tried to get up and get going

i sat on the side of my bed letting the blood

run to my feet

I struggle to get up and make it to the bathroom

i go to the desk and get out my pill holder

i take about 14 in the morning to get me started

i go to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee

while the coffee is making i feed the cat

then i rake up last nites scraps and feed the dog

i take my shower at night,i rinse my mouth with mouth wash

put in my teeth and go get my coffee

Check my e mails and phone messages check the calendar

to see if i have a doctors appointment,if i dont i get ready for work

i wish i could retire but i don`t draw enough social security

and i`m still waiting on the v a`s decision for my compensation

well it`s only been two years since i applied

i guess there busy with others like mine

vietnam 1969,i can still smell the dying flesh

i have a lot of bad memories ,hell we all do

When i work it wares me out,i have to rest a lot

i don`t take care of my self as i should,i have trouble sleeping

wake up at night seeing people in my room.i am used to it though

sometimes it scares me and i jump up to fight,but no one is there

they call it p t s d

I get mad at the drop of the hat,

sometimes i say things without thinking.but that don`t mean i`m sorry

the golden years,yeah right,i hardly see my family

and rare to catch a word with a friend ,don`t have  time between doctors and working you know,

They want to replace my knee but i wont let them

i`ve had 3 heart attacks,chronic kidney disease,border line diabetic what ever that means,pain in my toes and feet .my left knee is shot and the right one

well on it`s way.chronic artery disease ,chronic ptsd ,depression ,acid reflus,sleep apnehia ,loss of hearing ,poor eye sight,and oh yes, a heart murmur ...

The golden years,just waiting on god

Reviews

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh wow Ron this just hit so hard. Thank you for your service, for your sacrifice so people like us and my children have a safe place to rest our heads!! No one every can say it enough, what you all go through to keep "our freedom" is beyond any thank you i could ever give!

[wordman]

thank you very much,it wasn`t about me sereena

[sereenaoutloud]

sorry you wrote it so well.. with such feeling it felt like it was a personal write ! :)

[wordman]

lol i dont have false teeth,yet

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL...too funny :))

[wordman]

you know i`m the w/c clown

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you are for sure...always make me laugh anyways....oh accept for your writing..you had me crying twice lol

[wordman]

i can bring them tear jerkers,

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you can. STOP IT...heheheh need to keep my box of kleenex by me when i read your writes to catch all the tears!!

[wordman]

oh! i`m not that good

[dan]

wm, Not much gold in THESE hills, it reminds me of local TV commercials for assisted living centers where retirees are playing golf, shooting pool and eating in a gourmet cafeteria, all of them so joyously ambulatory. But the reality for so many senior citizens (hell, I'm 58 and a lot of this approximately describes ME) is the nagging pains and the endless waiting room agonies. I'm sorry if this is indeed autobiographical (the military scars, the PTSD, the night sweats and depression) but if it is I'd like to belatedly thank you for your service in 'Nam. A very well penned piece, my friend. take care...dan

[wordman]

thank you dan,part true most not but i can see the agony of others

[dan]

SV, Like the new handle. Now I guess I should ALWAYS call you sir? 8^) take care...dan

[wordman]

well he`s chicken s**t to use his real fake name dan,but we all know it`t t k little
and he really showed his stupidity again lol lol lol

[dan]

I've never had him comment on any of my stuff. Guess he doesn't think I deserve his precious time. Just ignore him, pay attention to him and you're giving him just what he so desperately needs: attention. F**k him. take care, my friend...dan

[wordman]

trust me dan,this piece of s**t is no problem,he is jealous of a lot of people here on w/c

[Marie]

These years don't sound golden at all. At firt I thought you were writing about yourself; thank goodness you aren't...I hope...

[wordman]

hello marie,you never know,thank you for the visit

[....................]

Yeah, not much great about those golden years, eh Wordman? My dad always said before he died, "don't grow old my son... there is nothing nice about it." There is some truth in that for many of us, though others seems to age well. Good job!

[wordman]

they just don`t show it ,but they do,thank you my friend

[...]

This is outstanding, Ron! It's REAL, it's NOW, it's RAW, it's LIFE, and it's TOUCHING! I felt it, and anyone that reads it is going to...excellent

[wordman]

sad but true lynn,thank you for the visit,always a pleasure

[ANTO]

This makes for uncomfortable reading Ron when one considers the number of elderly people who are now in the community and have nothing to look forward to but their own demise.
Its hard because its real and its like looking into a crystal ball for some, especially those living in mega-cities where everyone keeps to themselves and communities that thrived now dwindle, I guess.
You wouldnt write this if you didnt care, I feel.
well penned WM

[wordman]

thank you anto.it is true for many people