The Golden Years

I woke this morning,well around ten

i laid in the bed for a few minutes

before i tried to get up and get going

i sat on the side of my bed letting the blood

run to my feet

I struggle to get up and make it to the bathroom

i go to the desk and get out my pill holder

i take about 14 in the morning to get me started

i go to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee

while the coffee is making i feed the cat

then i rake up last nites scraps and feed the dog

i take my shower at night,i rinse my mouth with mouth wash

put in my teeth and go get my coffee

Check my e mails and phone messages check the calendar

to see if i have a doctors appointment,if i dont i get ready for work

i wish i could retire but i don`t draw enough social security

and i`m still waiting on the v a`s decision for my compensation

well it`s only been two years since i applied

i guess there busy with others like mine

vietnam 1969,i can still smell the dying flesh

i have a lot of bad memories ,hell we all do

When i work it wares me out,i have to rest a lot

i don`t take care of my self as i should,i have trouble sleeping

wake up at night seeing people in my room.i am used to it though

sometimes it scares me and i jump up to fight,but no one is there

they call it p t s d

I get mad at the drop of the hat,

sometimes i say things without thinking.but that don`t mean i`m sorry

the golden years,yeah right,i hardly see my family

and rare to catch a word with a friend ,don`t have  time between doctors and working you know,

They want to replace my knee but i wont let them

i`ve had 3 heart attacks,chronic kidney disease,border line diabetic what ever that means,pain in my toes and feet .my left knee is shot and the right one

well on it`s way.chronic artery disease ,chronic ptsd ,depression ,acid reflus,sleep apnehia ,loss of hearing ,poor eye sight,and oh yes, a heart murmur ...

The golden years,just waiting on god

Reviews

[sereenaoutloud]

Oh wow Ron this just hit so hard. Thank you for your service, for your sacrifice so people like us and my children have a safe place to rest our heads!! No one every can say it enough, what you all go through to keep "our freedom" is beyond any thank you i could ever give!

[wordman]

thank you very much,it wasn`t about me sereena

[sereenaoutloud]

sorry you wrote it so well.. with such feeling it felt like it was a personal write ! :)

[wordman]

lol i dont have false teeth,yet

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL...too funny :))

[wordman]

you know i`m the w/c clown

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you are for sure...always make me laugh anyways....oh accept for your writing..you had me crying twice lol

[wordman]

i can bring them tear jerkers,

[sereenaoutloud]

yes you can. STOP IT...heheheh need to keep my box of kleenex by me when i read your writes to catch all the tears!!

[wordman]

oh! i`m not that good

[Donna]

I really like this one. Its so sad that our Vets are not taken care of. My youngest son is 28, he has ptsd. Its a scary thing! Nice writing!

[wordman]

thank you donna,lol,you went back

[Helen Bawden]

This is very powerful wordman! I can really feel this poor guy's daily life now, obviously different previously.

[wordman]

i have my moments where something will touch me,thank you for reading,ans i`m sorry bout your love loss,it was un called for,he should have been truthful from the begining

[Helen Bawden]

Thank you wordman.

[wordman]

always a pleasure helen

[Wolf_Lord]

My Man, this is so realistic.... I find it hard to believe that this is not your own experience. Congratulations... This is the mark of Excellence. When you can present a character so realistically as to make people think it is yourself, that is a crowning achievement. I had no doubt that this was personal experience until I read the other comments. Kudo's my friend.
Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',

[wordman]

i appreciate your review,it is real for thousands of vets my friend,when i go to my doctors office at the v a i hear it all

[barleygirl]

Normally I prefer straightforward writing, but I think this one is almost TOO straightforward . . . you've made no attempt to "pretty up" the scene & this conveys how it actually IS for people in this situation. There comes a time when we stop "prettying up" the way we see our lives, becuz it takes all our determination just to push thru all these graphic challenges you've shown us here, which plague everyone to some degree, at some point. I especially love the sarcasm of "Golden Years" . . . even tho everything is conveyed in a blunt fashion, there's not too much of a caustic edge or whining going on. It's more just stating facts, being real.

[wordman]

yes,it`s just laid on the line,no frills just facts..thank you for reading

[Daisy]

such nice description... i could feel the frustration this person is in..... wow great story

[wordman]

thank you daisy

[E G TEN]

Hey Word, sad, but with humor at the end accepting the inevitable
Wise are the old, for they have seen it all!

[wordman]

thank`s e g appreciate the visit

[M. Black]

so sad and so real, really made me stop and think. great piece of writing :)

[wordman]

thank you for the visit !

[Weeping willow]

Wow! such heartache all through this write,life is tough and retiring is even tougher in this world especially now a days.I have never figured out why they call it the golden years,when all there is, is rough times for retired people.Living on Social Security is not good,even though you work all your life,you barely have enough to live on as things are going up all the time.Good write;]

[wordman]

thank you very much,and you are right

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

I worked in a PTSD group as a social worker in the Veterans Hospital in Utah. This well written story transported me back to those great men I met there...often losing the essence of their lives to save ours. Nice piece!

[wordman]

thank you jane,i go to murphysboro tenn,va

[TinaM201549]

very touching story...heart breaking. Tina

[wordman]

yeah ,thanks for reading