i feel the want and serenity from your speaker ... memories that lift up and remind us of things that were right ;) V1 L4 ..may i suggest changing "mind" to something else rather than repeating it from L2 ... and again in V3 L2 something other than "touch" as it is used in V2 .. perhaps "your sweet breath' instead ...unless you are conforming to some particular form ... i like the softness and the gentle breezes playing their part in this one ...makes me feel wistful
E.
"do you still love me
I know that you do
cause the winds of time
is blowing on you too..."
This runs through the mind and make you wonder. Can love be the same measure? Because everything is the same; the same wind, the same time, but is it the same love? I wonder.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
true love will always be with you,you will always feel it..thank you
"Winds of Time"
wordman,
This poem of yours was refreshing. Gentle in memory but forthright too:
"The winds of time
blosing gently through my mind
telling me things long forgot
that I had place deep into my mind"
I like the feeling of a soft wind blowing and moving, as through the writer's mind:
"sweet sound of your voice" gentleness of your touch" 'love that you gave," I need so much"
The thrid stanza is the culmination of the one before:
"long for your kiss" "sweet touch' miss you so much"
Then in the last stanza, a positive and self revealing and hopeful end:
"do you still love me"
I know that you do
cause the winds of time'is blwing on you too..."
We want love. We hope for it.
Great words sir.
Kathy
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
thank you kathie,i really appreciate this great review
7 Years Ago
Wordman,
You are really welcome. Wishing you good and life happiness.
Kathy
Whoa I loved this...soft as a whisper from the moon....and I usually don't like to comment on things like this but shouldn't the last line read "are blowing on you too..." because winds is plural?...none of my business but just in case you didn't catch it. But let's not detract from that soft whisper of the moon. That is what I want to be left with :0)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
but jane ,it would mess with my flow.and i am dumb sometimes,well most times
thank you very m.. read morebut jane ,it would mess with my flow.and i am dumb sometimes,well most times
thank you very much
Love this one! It is serene and beautiful. It reminds me of the breezes blowing off the water in the 'winds of tme'. Positively Lovely. Your voice is soft and transportive in this piece. Thank you, Wordman.
just ask, golden glove boxer years ago,us army veteran ,a contractor is how i make my living,
i am an amateur writer.. been here since june of 2013,couldn`t write then,still can`t.but who cares
i .. more..