My chosen brother

"Starry starry night...paint your palette blue and gray..."

I have traced your steps for years,

since I first saw your ships sailing

on the sandy shore, still looking as if

they had found their perfect reach.

You sang my madness on canvas

with green fiery torches of trees

exploding from gently rolling hills.

You created the same masks as I

as you painted your stark reality

in cheery yellow and oranges,

lying to your brother that all was well.

Your portrait mirrors mine with eyes

that see the world whirl by

in excruciating precision

(even the parts which make most cringe).

When I have exhausted myself,

I comfort in the tenderness

of your brush on the faces of

men and women working

themselves to early graves.

A building for you alone in Amsterdam,

your final work hangs downstairs;

a tangled jumble, swirls and slabs

of pigments and oil, ultimately ugly

from five feet away.  Wandering through,

I ended up three stories up and

a hundred feet away.

The wheat waved in the winds,

and the larks took flight

as if spooked by the farmer's dog.

Glorious light from the Auvers sun

filled the space between your vision

and mine.  I sobbed for you then,

to have been torn from yourself

so violently that if

you shouted to yourself

you likely couldn't hear.

Small wonder you shot yourself,

because the wheat field you spread

on a table-sized landscape

sat beside the graveyard where

you and Theo lay side by side.

As I walked along, the only place

you could see the field and the paths

was with your back against the wall

Family in Amsterdam,

too few friends in Paris,

the short walk to the cold

respite of the Church

no longer worth the breath spent.

Nowhere else to go,

nothing else to see,

too little paint left

to try again.

Reviews

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

A beautiful write as always Joel, to bad the suject is of a tortured soul. But as always you have penned it eliquently. xo

[Ruth]

Bear, this is an amazing poem! Really moving and wonderfully thought out :)
There is so emotion within this, I am literally without words!
Passionate and serious kudos love!
100 too!
xx

[ju]

this is truly beautiful. a calm, passionate reflection on the works and life of a turbulent soul.

[Lily Mae]

"Nowhere else to go,
nothing else to see,
too little paint left
to try again."
What an intense and emotional write Joel.. I feel sorrow, and yet acceptance of the "as is" with this.. Wonderful write for sure..xx

[Rene Velez]

that is amazing Joel, so sorrowful, and the love breathes through these words, your imagery is superb...very nice write my friend.

[.......]

Like the part in ( ) the best. Can't spell the word but i think you know what i mean. This is wonderdul i can feel the strong powerful emotion.

[Judy Ponceby]

Truly heartbreaking, soulful write, Joel. Told in beautiful exquisite detail and loving care. Peace.