Vaya con Dios

I reach a caring hand your way;
nothing says you have to take
it up.  It's all I have today,
but grab hold hard, for god's own sake.
That path I know; you've gone astray
and farther on, the going's rough.
Times like this I can but pray,
and pray that that will be enough.

Reviews

[Joshua]

I like that you knew where to stop this poem. It is concise, considerate, and kind. If all I said were positive things, however, this review would be pointless. My advice would be to vary the rhyme, use slant rhyme or near rhyme in order to make the reader jump out of the rhythm and into the subject.

Another way to beef up the power of this poem would be to select more dynamic verbs. You do this with the choice of the verb reach, but others such as grab, hold, can, and gone are common verbs that leave me wanting a little bit more. Experiment with those word choices and see what comes out.

I do like your line breaks, no problems there. Keep it up. Keep writing. Hope to see more in the future.

[.]

~ tears... millions of tears... i wish i could save him... as you have saved me... oh so many times...

[Joel M Frye]

It's at these times precisely that prayer is all I have, and it never feels sufficient. But it is all I have, and pray I must.

[.]

~ thank you... for everything... for praying... for writing poetry about praying... for reminding me to pray... that's all i have and so i must...

[Lily Mae]

Thank you for being the hand to many who have gone astray. Your an amazing man Joel.. :) x

[Judy Ponceby]

I like the feel of this Joel. Well done.

[Joel M Frye]

Thank you for the thoughtful, constructive commentary, Joshua. You've given me a path to improve not only this poem, but my writing in general. Most kind of you, good sir.