Untitled 3

oh why oh why 

 

 have I

been so naive and stupid enough to think 

that, it was possible, now i'm on the brink 

of a major fallout in my head with my inner self  

time to take my name down from life's living shelf

it was all so stupid, silly and predictable

right from the start,i could predict it all 

but i still put myself in harm's way , don't know why 

guess i'm  blinded by love, telling the truth no lie 

guess i should've kept it to myself, now its too late 

should've kept it bottled up all inside to date 

I questioned god's motives, guess i'm losing faith 

maybe its all my fault, and being miserable's my fate 

i tried to pretend, as if it never happened 

lying to myself, yes i have been 

but my heart knows that its real, it can feel it 

my heart shuffled the deck, time for my mind to deal it 

but i know this time that its too much for me to deal with

 

it will never go away

in my heart she's meant to stay

for eternity and everyday 

i wish i could get away

going through my mind in every way 

especially at night as i lay 

 

in My bed staring at the ceiling ,  this feeling 

of emptiness comes along, i thought i was strong 

guess i'm drained now, a man who lost his heart 

trying to fix things, but its all torn apart 

scream f**k expectations,they brought my demise 

and images of what could have been, all turned lies 

and all those stupid dreams, now haunt me at night 

I created happy illusions, now they're back to bite 

mind boggled at 5 am on a Friday, and i can't sleep right 

I can honestly admit, i've never felt so low 

I try to sleep to forget, but the heart says no

and it won't let go 

u reap what u sow 

Its never gonna happen, now i know 

Its crushing pain, but it'll never show 

I know i'll never move on, i'm supposed to live with it 

or die with it, but its all my fault and i did it 

i struggle to say a word but i still scream f**k my heart 

Its even difficult to breathe, smothered and its just the start 

its a whole new feeling that i've never felt before 

Reviews

[Angel]

Damn...this is intense. Tragic yet amazing written. Sorry this happened to you, I hope one day you can move on and be happy again.

[Wordsmith]

thank you, you're super sweet :) i really appreciate it

[Angel]

Anytime :) just try and smile

[Wordsmith]

haha i gotta a line in another poem that adresses that smiling issue haha

[Angel]

Lol I'm not done reading them all yet XD

[Wordsmith]

haha take your time

[Angel]

Okay I got them all XD

[Wordsmith]

lol you still don't have the one which contains the line about " the smile " haha i didn't publish it

[Angel]

Wow mean XD

[Wordsmith]

haha i'll send it to in a private inbox, its too personal to be out there haha

[Angel]

Alrighty you do that but finish your story first about her

[Wordsmith]

haha okay i'm so so so so so so sorry though, i'm so sorry to be annoying u with my story like that, i'm sorry, you're an amazing person and a great listener. ps : told u not to get me started

[Angel]

Don't be sorry lol not at all. I want to hear it it's not annoying. And you did tell me but there's no need for an I told you so cause I'm glad you are telling me

[Wordsmith]

haha thank you "amazing random person sent from heaven "