A Shadow of Her

"You can't see me, because all you see is her"

You seize my heart -- yours is with her;

My love falls to you -- you catch her;

She’s gone --  life to a leave-taking;

Yet here I am -- still breathing.

 

In front of eyes -- what do they see?

Every time they landed on me;

Because her beauty won’t fade --

Painted and eternally made.

 

How can I win against your girl?

When you hold her as precious pearl;

If I’m just an ocean-pebble -- 

Ordinary, not valuable.

 

I -- the one rising before you;

Offering a boundless love too.

Your sight cannot notice either -- 

For, I’m just a shadow of her.

Author's Note

Hope you like it.. :-)

Reviews

[KAREN]

Wonderful write! I love the first stanza.

[~]

If someone has someone else in their heart, they will hardly look our way.. it is best to give our heart a break and look for eyes that will see us before we see them. Great juxtapositions!

[Angad Waraich]

Deep, reflective and honest.
A wonderful piece.
Thank you for sharing.

[Rache David]

thank you.. I'm glad you liked it.. :-)

[Rache David]

yeah you're right.. It may be hard .. but it's not impossible..it may take time but you'l get there one day.. :-).. thank you for your comment..

[Sami Khalil]

Heavy and emotive. Nothing like the offer of boundless love...Bravo................

[Rache David]

Thank you for the comment.. :-)
I'm glad you liked it....

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome:)........

[NotaBene]

I was reminded slightly of Adel's "someone like you" song when I read this. It is not easy to be put in the back image of another woman despite however your heart may feel. I can feel your sorrow in this poem. Good write!

[Rache David]

really? thank you so much for the comment..
It's really hard to see someone ,even she's in front of you, if she's not the one in your heart...

[A. Amos]

Simply feel your heart in every word you wrote...simply brilliant.

[Rache David]

thank you so much..:-)
I put my heart in it.. :-D

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Great Aunt Astri]

Ah. so many youngsters have suffered like the one in the poem ... love can be so fickle! You have done well with the rhyming and I like the near rhymes.. pebble, valuable and either, her. It makes one pick up ones ears and listen.

[Rache David]

yeah that's right. i agree..
. thank you for your comment.. I'm glad you liked it..

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

For starters I love the title suits it so well.
Second of all it was so poetic which is awesome.
Your rhyming is brilliant.
The piece has so much deep meaning to it as well.
I love the whole story line, this was the best/my favorite line:

How can I win against your girl?
When you hold her as precious pearl;

LOVED THIS BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN HUN!

[Rache David]

Thank you so much 'Cimmonne'.. glad you like it.. :-)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

you are most welcome :)

[ms. barrie]

Very well written poem...Very emotive of a battle between the heart and
Inner self. The dictation, with poignant imagery captured...emotional
Turmoil expressed in this write is amazing and pulls on the heart's strings.

Very relatable, most of us have been there, humans tend to be selfish and blind.
Good luck
In whatever choice in your decision you chose. Thanks for sharing. This
Resonated with me.

[Rache David]

thank you barriejoy. I'm not really talking about myself in my poem.. It's general. As what you said, most of the people have been there. Perhaps. I'm showing this , in perspective of anybody who feels the same way.

[ms. barrie]

You're very welcome, Rachel.

[RONGORONGO::^/JEUSSEN/F..]

i would NEVER put up with a PIG's bigamy! It would be me ONLY, or I'd be outta there!

[Rache David]

I understand you.. But sometimes it's quite hard for people who are really in love..

[RONGORONGO::^/JEUSSEN/FUNKSPEILS/SCR-67]

No offense, but that's pathetic. I was in a WRETCHED, loveless, neglected marriage with a man I believed was a good man but he was all words and no action, except for sex in other people's beds. He was given an ultimatum, to break off the affair he was in with a disgusting bad woman and he thought he'd “have his cake and eat it too”, so he lost me in the end. As I said, I would be outta there if I wasn't his ONE AND ONLY. And I wasn't. So I was outta there. I hope you find some peace and growth!

[Rache David]

I'm sorry for that.. Did I offend you with my work? I understand you, and if I was in your position I would leave that relationship too. People won't think the same way.. So that's the purpose of my work, like speaking on their perspectives.