Fatal Attraction

Team Renfield- 1

Haunting, her whispers come

Nightly, in hinted tongue

Tread not my land of wonders

Stay there where you belong

With each new nightly message

She dares, but tempts some more

With every new warning said

Enticing me to explore

Unveil, one night did she

Her transparent, lucid form

With cloudy eyes so white

Like visions of a storm

She then walked away

I followed close behind

Indifferent to her warnings

Her words still in my mind

Feeling my pursuit of her she

turned , her move untoward

fool, you should have listened

I have no truths for you, but knowledge

On this fatal edge of my sword

Reviews

[Eilis]

Great atmosphere to this poem. It reminded me of Nathaniel Hawthorne and his explorations of the wilderness. The sense that everything has a spirit and can impact the human being's spiritual and mental health. And then there's also the Hester Prynne's who are touched deeply by the wilderness of human communities and remain on the margins trying to find their (new) place.

I liked the dynamic. It could be forbidden love, infatuation, or some kind of internal battle. That openness is appealing in poetry. Nice work.

[Wondering Mind]

Thank you very much for taking time to provide such feedback. Much appreciated!

[Closedown]

Brilliant! Renfieldians unite!

[Emily B]

oh, those siren songs, this is lovely, dark and deep

[.]

. ohhhhh ... you wrote a bomb about a bomb ... and that knowledge is priceless knowledge ... a very, very, very captivating piece of writing ... magically composed and rendered ...

[Misty Blue Eyes]

whoa thats creepy...love it though...awesome work as always

[James Paulin]

Makes my mind wander, wondering if the snake ever said a word or was the forbidden fruit so exquisite as to die for. This is a superb example of suggestive metaphor poetry. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Nice one. And way to slip in untoward. ;)

[Cynthia]

Great Poem!!!!!!!
Somehow, your poem touches me.