The Land of Tears

feedback pleeassee!

a dusty road,
of lost souls,
and a heart that cannot be found.
the storm it came,
to wash the pain away,
but the girl layed there without a sound.
her tears they fell,
her head stayed down,
as she thought of those long-lost days.
of the treasured thoughts,
and her face a-glow,
that has long been gone away.
her shaky hands,
they found the floor,
and with quite a bit of strength.
she pulled herself,
from the ground,
and stood a giant's length.
yes she was hurt,
singed and teared,
and the bad thoughts had not gone away.
she gathered herself,
and smiled lightly,
riddening herself of the dismay.
she took one step,
then took two,
and walked down the dusty lane.
to the place beyond,
the land of tears,
letting go of the pain.

Author's Note

this was kind of spur of the moment writing. I didnt plan it out much, it just came to me so sorry if its not that great. (: and the word "riddening" im not sure if its even a word, but yeah, kinda just went with the flow.

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

This one was very realistic.. I am sure it will apply to many.. as life is truly a struggle.. so many struggle at different points.. some more or less than others! Through the sadness of hurt and tragedy individual to each.. there is a sense of lonely dispair.. than in this writing as in life.. the strength to take a few steps and move on away from the sorrow and dispair. I loved the flow of emotions that run it's course through this.. can definitely relate on many levels to this. Even survivors feel that hurt deep down.. the toughest or strongest looking usually feel it more.. they just don't want people to know it. I sometimes smile when I am hurt. ... Oh I smile for real.. you just won't always know you hurt me.. I don't like showing weakness when I am really hurting deep. The feeling gave me a sense of one coming from poverty down a long dusty road.. with many obstacles weighing them down... truly a surviving heart to pay tribute to! =)

[Dominic Rosales]

I loved this poem. It was a joy to read and a pleasure to enjoy. I really liked the message in this poem, and this is the first piece of work I have read from you and I have my hopes up that your other work is just as good. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed it. Keep it up.

[Kerry]

This speaks to all those who have been deeply hurt, as I'm sure we all have at one time or another.

"riddening herself of the dismay."

Did you perhaps mean "ridding" as in to rid oneself of something? For brevity I would delete the word "the" in this line. I enjoyed this poem. I especially like the way it talks about the journey through pain that we all must take to get to the other side. I also agree with BlackCrush's review. Nicely done.

[BLACKCRUSH]

This was good it has a nice natural tone , a good flow as well.For it being such a quick write I think you did very well .Good work.