Merry christmas Mrs S.

a story of a woman dying, her last moments and a love that spans the ages

The room was quiet and still for now, she sat in her chair seemingly asleep a woman well past what she considered her use by date, just waiting for the end, she knew she was going and she was a little apprehensive, but also looking forward to the end and to seeing her husband Alwyne, {she had some words to say to him leaving her all alone all those years ago, just wait till she saw him).

 In the room were some of her Grandchildren and her Adult children, all except Paul and Melanie who sat with there mom, the others were sat at the other end of the room, silence reigned as the grandchildren sat some on laptops, some talking quietly, until suddenly over the silence could be heard laughter and music, the celebration had begun.

She sat in her chair and thought to herself, I wonder what happens? Will I feel any pain? She smiled at the sound of the laughter as it slowly pervaded the atmosphere of the room, warming and brightening the atmosphere, turning it into the celebration she had so wanted it to be, she wanted her last moments to be surrounded by love, family and joy and we were determined to do just that.

She’d long given up the hospital bed the Hospice nurses had supplied for her finding it too uncomfortable, to hard to keep getting in and out of and had instead opted for the tall chair she was currently sitting in, this proud women, now a mere shell of the person she was once, sitting and waiting, drifting in and out of consciousness as the Morphine took affect, Paul and Melanie administered it to help her remain pain free, allowing her last moments to pass in as pain free a place as they could, she had been reduced to asking someone to help to take her to the toilet and change her nappy, but it was gladly changed, for such jobs are done with love and maintained her dignity, two people were always there to help lift her and change, Paul the eldest son, a large heavily built man himself fighting demons of his own but trying so hard to put them behind him, his Mom needed him and that was all there was to it,  and Melanie the other end of the Quintet the youngest daughter ,who had been there from the start finally having her mom living in her home so she could spend the final days surrounded by love , friends and family, always caring, sometimes at the expense of her own home life , the first born and the last ,they sat and watched and waited for the moment they knew would come.

Suddenly Mom called Melanie over and said in a whisper “I need to go to the toilet,” Paul and Melanie got up they had got the routine down pat by now, Paul would stand in front of his Mom and his best fake accent say “come to me my dear, come into my arms” looking her in the eyes, (knowing that part of her would be horrified at what she needed to be done, that this private woman needed someone to stand her up and pull her knickers down) Mom would give a laugh and a smile and Melanie would pull down the nappy and put her on the Commode, when she had finished they would get her up, put the nappy back on and put her back in the chair, or at least that’s how the routine  had always gone, both of them now  so comfortable with the roles that they were able to accomplish it without a word been said between them.

Suddenly Mom spoke up and said to Melanie “I have to go again” this was unusual as she was not really taking enough fluids to need to go but still needs must, so Paul got in front and lifted her up off the chair standing her up, Melanie went to move the Commode to her when she suddenly said to Melanie in a small whisper

“I have got an itch can you scratch my “ the words trailing off unable to be heard, “ what “ said Melanie  “ what did you say” Mom gestured asking her come closer, Melanie leant down and asked again” what do you need mom”, Mom looked at her in a quiet voice said” I have got an itch, can you scratch my fanny” Melanie looked at Paul who stared back and said in a laughing voice” glad you’re here, this is your job, in all the years of looking after the elderly and the dying, this is not something I have been asked to do”

Melanie reached around Paul who was holding his mom up and slowly reached forward, they warned mom together if she starts moaning and liking it, we get her a back scratcher and she could do it herself as it were.

Slowly the Morphine and her failing body started to take its toll and she drifted back off into a drug fuelled sleep at peace and away from the pain that had slowly crept in.

Suddenly mom smiled we looked at each other, sure that at last the end was coming.

Alwyne comes to visit

He stood at the chair and looked down, resplendent in the Air Force uniform he used to wear, now standing tall and free from the ravages of time and the cancer that had led to his untimely end so many years ago, the years had fallen away here was the man who first married her all that time ago, come at last for the woman he loved, he saw the women as was, the young attractive woman he had met in the NAAFI, she making cups of tea and he smitten from the first time he saw her (at least that’s how he remembered it) he saw the women that is and knew that despite the time they had been separated that his love was as strong now as it ever was, crossing the distance of space and time, he had to come and get her ,keeping his promise she would never be alone. He reached down and held her hand, his fingers slowly rubbing the back of the hand and he talked to her quietly, words only she could hear, telling her of the places he had been, the people he had met and the wonderful things that she was yet to see.

Finally he leaned in, his voice trembling a little, he had waited so long for this moment for them to be together again and softly said “ come on love, its time to go home “ he held out his hand, she grasped it and she stood up unsteady at first, not sure completely what was going on, until she opened her eyes and as  seeing him said 

“ Alwyne, you’ve come, I knew you would, is it time to go?” she looked down at the shell she had left behind, noticed the wrinkles and the lines as if for the first time and she looked back at her children and her Grandchildren in the room, sighed and stroked her hand over the faces of her two children who had spent so many hours watching and waiting, making sure that when she had to go she at least went surrounded by love and family, looking back one more time she  walked out of the room with her husband, and  walked into the lounge room, there she saw her Mom and dad waiting, her sisters Beryl, Rose, Vi and Diana, her brother Sam all standing there waiting for her a smile beaming on there faces , there love shining through and she knew then it would be okay. She was going home

 

Back in the bedroom Paul looked at Melanie and asked if she was cold, they both looked at each other and laughed singing to theme from close encounters, knew that the body in front of them was exactly that, an empty shell waiting for the motor to stop and as if to emphasise this, the dog rushed into the lounge room and starting barking at what seemed to be an empty space.

They sat with her until the engine finally stopped, not willing to leave her alone even though that spark that was Mom was gone, off on a new journey united with her husband (who it must be said was probably regretting coming for her a little bit as she had a few words to impart about being left alone by him all these years, until finally she hugged him and they walked into the light slowly fading from view)

 The motor that once was finally sputtered to a stop and finally It was done, one more journey completed and a new adventure now beginning, the sheet was placed over her and that was that.

After that It was time for that very British institution .a cup of tea and time make some phone calls and to let the world know that she had gone off to play elsewhere on the start of a new journey.