Moonlit Tears

My fiance and I went through a nasty fight a few months ago, and this is something I wrote based on that.

He smiles, my breath catches. Tonight is all about us. It’s been a long time, we’ve earned a break. No work, no school, dinner’s made, movies are to be played. He’s so thoughtful, how lucky I am to have this chance. But I realize, it’s all a lie. He looks at me, but imagines her. He listens to me, but hears her. His hands touch me, but they yearn to caress her.

How could he? I’ve been the one through it all. I was there when all we had was us. I supported him, cared for him. Nursed him when sick and gave him peace through rough nights. I was his everything…now it’s all shattered. Broken. False. Nothing.

He talks to her when we’re apart. He talks to her behind my back, under my nose. He tells her things I want to be told. He fantasizes her in ways I crave to be thought about. She says the same things as me, but it means more from her. Her honeyed lips tease him in ways once only I could. Everything between us is fading. Gone. Dead.

He acts like a good provider, caring enough, but I see the distance. I feel him drifting away. Every second I die a little more. How could he run to her arms when its mine that are outstretched? She doesn’t know him like I do, but she knows enough to tempt him. To steal away his affections. I have his body, a shell, while she has his heart.

I sit and listen to my heart break. Liquefied anguish drips silently from my soul’s windows. I’m falling to pieces, crashing into blackness. Howls of bitter agony rip into the void, nothing can stop this. Gone is the innocence, lost are the dreams. Now there are only lies. Poison strangles me, but he sees nothing but her beauty. I want to hate her, to hurt her…and yet I only feel envy. She’s won.

Time to meet the cold truth, leave him to his warm lies. He has my everything.  He has her. There is no longer “I” or “me”. Only a memory from a dream long since forgotten.

Author's Note

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