Chapter 7

A month went by, and time trickled on slowly. Days past, and each blended into each other. My life had become a mere shadow of its former self. My eyes faded to a dull, sickly green...I doubted anyone even remembered that they used to be brown. I went to class, ate lunch alone, and after classes I went straight back home. There, I would do homework and then crawl back into bed to stare at the wall until the next day. My father attempted to help, but with a new case that drained nearly all his time, the most he could do was the laundry and making sure I ate. I did eat, for his sake, but my heart wasn't in it. It had been shattered that night I found out Adam's secret, and I doubted it would ever heal. What made it even worse, and harder to bear, was that Adam completely vanished. It was like he never existed. Sure, the professors got his work from online, but he didn't come to class anymore. It was as if he was avoiding me....and that hurt deeply. For the first few days, he blew up my phone, trying to contact me...but that eventually ended. I reread texts and replayed voice mails, just to remember that he was real...but I was beginning to question whether he was ever more than just a figment of my imagination.

 

Before long, it was November, and people on campus began to buzz around about the Fall Dance. Apparently, right before the school closed for Thanksgiving, the school sponsored a dance for juniors and seniors. Great...sounds like high school prom all over again...I never went to my own prom, because I was too busy taking care of my father. Looks like another event for me to blow off... I was leaving the cafeteria and headed to my car, when Avery walked up from nowhere. Oh Goddess, I can't take this right now..."Hey doll," he called when he approached. "What do you want, Lucas?" I said flatly. I had no emotion left by this time. "Hey, I know you're anxious, just calm down. I'm here for ya. I've brought you some good news. I'm about to make your dreams come true. I'm taking you to the Fall Dance." I glanced at him and sighed. "No." "What?" His face collapsed into itself, I think that was the first time he'd heard the word no in ages. "I said, no, Lucas. Go pick one of your cheerleader girlfriends and just leave me the hell alone." I got in the car and drove off before he could even think of a reply. I swear, that Avery needs an attitude adjustment...I wish Adam was here....

 

The next few days repeated the same pattern as before, but now I had Avery every day asking me to the dance, and every day I refused. Will he not  just take a hint? Things might have continued on to be the same, until one day...something happened. I walked into my Physics class on afternoon, and was shocked to see Josué standing by my seat. "What are you doing here?" I asked, worried that something might have happened to Adam, and yet confused on why I even cared. "Adam sent me to give you this." As soon as he spoke Adam's name, I felt an electric jolt run through my veins. I looked up and Josué handed me an envelop. "We all miss you, Re. Especially Adam." And then he was gone. I stared at the envelop as if it were made of gold. They missed me? And...Adam? I carefully opened the envelop, not wanting to ruin whatever it was. I pulled out a slip of paper, and began to read. "Missing you so much, Everyday when your not around, My heart aches even more..You fill the void, The void thats been missing, For some time now, That hasen't been filled, In a long time...But now that I'm with you, The void is no more, You make me feel so good...But I miss you so bad. I'd do anything to see you, Anything in the world. Right now all I want, Is to be with you...The sweetness of your personality, Your voice is sweet, All I want right now, Is to be with you....Please Rena, I'm begging you...please come to the Fall Dance. I need to see you again. I promise to explain everything to you. Please?"  Tears were streaming down my face by the time I finished reading. He wrote a poem? For me? Oh Goddess....

 

I was still shaken up when I got home, but I was just so confused. Why would he try to contact me after a month of silence? And he sent Josué ...he didn't show up himself. Maybe he thought if he showed up I'd refused to see him. He asked me to the dance...should I even go? Why would he want to take a lovesick pity feast like me? Wait a minute....did I just say? That's when I realized...I didn't care who or what Adam was, I was in love with him, and I missed him. I waited anxiously until my father came home from work, and showed him the note. "Well," he said after reading it, "are you going to go?" I sighed, "I don't know Dad. I want to, but I'm nervous about seeing Adam again. Besides, I have nothing to wear for that sort of thing." My father, the mischievous little devil he was, began to smile devilishly and the twinkle returned to his blue eyes. "You just plan on what you're going to say to him when you see him, leave the outfit to me..."

 

 

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Time had ceased to have meaning. I gave up all hope, and resigned myself to my room. Jaq would go to class and to work, like normal. Tyre' also followed routine, going to classes and then dating her two companions. Only Josué seemed worried about my sinking into despair. Sure, he'd go to school and work, but at night he would sit with me and tell me things about the day...as if I had any interest. But whenever he'd mention Rena, I felt my heart ache and I'd wail out my sorrow. I prayed to be able to change so I could run off all my feelings, but I couldn't. It tore me apart that she seemed as miserable as I was, and mainly because I felt that I was the cause of her pain. You should have just left her alone...never should have entered her life at all. Look what you've done to her. Josué  said  her eyes never shifted back from being green, and it's my fault....

 

Despite my depression, I had to keep up with my courses. I did all my work online, but besides that, I simply stayed locked up in my room. The only reason I even ate food was because Josué didn't want me to waste away completely. I was grateful to him, but whenever he had to go off at night on dates with Damien, I felt even worse. He listened to my advice and now he has the love of his life....I didn't follow my own and now Rena is lost to me. I couldn't sleep anymore without nightmares, so I spent anytime I wasn't doing homework cradling her figurine. It was the only tangible piece of her I had left, and I cherished it as the precious item it was. I may have lost the girl, but I stubbornly refused to give up her memory. It was all I had, and if I was to be a beast forever, I'd have to have this as a reminder of my one moment of happiness...however brief it was.

 

Suddenly, it was November, and I knew it was over. No use lying to myself. The Harvest Moon was only a few weeks away, in fact, it was the night of the Fall Dance. I wouldn't change that night, but I would have until midnight to win Rena back. If it did turn midnight, then I would change....for the last time. Sigh, it's hopeless. Rena's never gonna take me back...I've been avoiding her all this time, and she hasn't contacted me either.... I was just going to ignore the whole thing, but my friends had other plans. First, it was Tyre'. "So, I decided that dating two people at once is more work than I want. I'm just going with a guy for now....I'll introduce you to him at the Fall Dance." Then came Jaq, "You know, it's a wonderful social event. Might even be a bewitching time. Who knows, maybe that love thing isn't all fairy tales after all. Even I have a date..." But the most convincing of all was Josué. "Adam, listen to me. Remember when you gave me advice about Damien, and I took it? Now we're going to the dance and we're as happy as can be. I want you happy too, so you better listen to my advice. Write her a letter, tell her how you feel, ask her to the dance...and I'll deliver it. Just, this is your last chance...and I want you to take it." I was impressed at how he had stood up to me, and so I decided I had nothing left to lose. So I sat down, and poured what was left of my heart into words.

 

The next day, I was nervous waiting for Josué  to return home. Soon as he walked in, I nearly pounced on him. "So? What happened? Did she take it? What did she say? How did she look?" He looked at me and tried to calm me down. "She walked in and was surprised to see me. I gave her the envelop, and she seem shocked to learn it was from you. I told her we all missed her, especially you, and there was a flicker of something in her eyes...like the dull green turned bright for just a second." It didn't seem like much, but it gave me some hope. "Do you think she'll come to the dance?" He looked at me seriously, "We can only wait and see..." I nodded solemnly, but then I looked sheepish. "Hey, Josué? What do you wear to a dance?" Josué laughed and smiled at me, "Man...we have work to do. It's gonna be a long two weeks."