4 - Damien

i couldn't stay away. it was like she was my addiction; i just felt at peace when she was by my side. i didn't quite understand it, but i just accepted it. i mean, there wasn't a lot that i could do, could i? she'd probably just find me creepy if i sat under her window all the time, so i stayed on the sidelines. just out of her line of sight, i'd watch over her at night, occasionally pacing to keep my legs warm, and i would just watch her house, knowing that she was safe, because of me. jack had started to get restless again, and kept turning up at her house, but i fended him off as best as i could. normally ill just challenge him, and he backs down (as he should!) but sometimes it gets out of hand, and there are a few scraps. he'll be licking those wounds for days. i know he couldn't hurt her, what with steph not letting any of us near her in case it triggers something, but his presence makes me anxious, and i get very shifty. 

it escaped me why I'm so protective of her. i mean, obviously, with her father being who he is, i kind of have to, but not this intensely. it scares me sometimes, but at the same time, it is a comforting feeling, that i have someone to watch over, to protect, and someone to actually feel sort of close to. every night i went through the same thing. she would say goodnight, and i would walk into the shadows, howling my goodbyes. then all night i would sit there, making sure she is alright. a few times i could swear she has spotted me, as she shuts her window, i see her lock eyes with me and smile a bit. i give a wolf grin back, knowing that she can't see it anyway, but i can't resist smiling when i see her.

one morning, as i waited on the grass, she shuffled out of her back door, and sat down on the porch, looking a bit down. i padded over, tail hung low, whining slightly, asking what was wrong.

"school starts today, so i can't be out all day anymore. i have to go soon wolfy." she patted my head, and started to stand to go back into the house, but i jumped in front of the door. she wasn't getting away this easily.

"wolfy, move, i need to go to school!" she tried to shove me out of the way, but i shoved her right back. being larger than her was a huge advantage, as i had more power, but i pushed a bit too hard, and she stumbled backwards, and tripped. falling flat on her a*s.

"what the hell!" tears brimmed on her eyes and guilt flooded through me like a tsunami. i bounded up to her, and lowered myself onto my back,neck exposed, whining. i had to show her i was sorry. i nudged her hand with my head, rolling back onto my stomach, edging forward so i was pressed against her. she lifted her hands up, which were all grazed, and bleeding a bit. i licked her hands, ashamed that i had hurt her in my enthusiasm to keep her here. she giggled, and i looked up at the beautiful sound. it rung in my ears like birdsong - no - more sweet and angelic than that. i met her eyes, those gorgeous amber orbs, and she smiled at me through her tears.

"I'm sorry i shouldn't have yelled at you, i just..." she looked down at her hands, and it suddenly hit me. why she was so hurt by what i had done. she was still scarred by what jack had done to her all those years ago. he had terrified her, and almost killed her. and here i was, pushing her to the ground. probably not helping at all. a whole new wave of guilt washed over me, as i realised the horrific effects of something so small to her. i whined even louder again and started licking her hands all over, then i placed my head in her lap, and grumbled at myself.

"no its fine, its not your fault, you were the w=one who saved me, i knew you weren't gonna hurt me, its just the memories. sometimes i see them in my dreams. wolves everywhere, and most of them are nice, but theres always two wolves that try to hurt me. the grey one you stopped, and this other wolf. he's brown with white markings, and a big a*s scar across his side. he haunts me every time i have that dream" my whole body froze. she couldn't be having this now. she doesn't even know!! how the hell can she know Tarker?! she lifted herself off of the ground, stroking my head and said "i really have to go now wolfy, ill see you this afternoon" and she walked into the house again. i hadn't moved an inch. i was frozen in place by what she had just told me. if this was true, then Alpha needed to know immediately. it was almost time.

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i waited for her in the forest until i heard her wake up and i bounded up to the back yard, waiting for her. i had a plan, i had spoken to Kenya and she said it might work if Alpha didn't know until she was there. or else he could forbid it, and then we wouldn't get anywhere. apart from Kenya and Jack, nobody else knew i was at Sadie's house all the time. she walked up to me, looking shattered, and sat down in a huff, leaning heavily against me. i had to hope that this would work. i had howled all night trying to keep her awake, and evidently it had worked. i needed her to fall asleep now so i can take her to them. to Alpha, so he can see her. i don't know what his reaction will be, after all, it has been years.

"where do you go when you leave here? do you have a family? are they like you?" thank the gods she had asked that. now i know she won't mind me doing this. i looked straight into her eyes, wishing she could understand my yips and barks, so she would know. " hmm, it'd be nice to find out....." she didn't finish off her sentence, as her eyelids fluttered shut, and i felt her body relax. i had to act quickly, shimmying my body under hers, and i slowly stood up, making sure she was settled on my back and wouldn't fall off. thank god i was one of the fastest in the pack. i had to do this quickly before Alpha finds out what I'm doing, or Steph gets suspicious why her daughter's car is still in the driveway. i turned towards the forest, and sprinted off into the darkness, hoping - no, begging that my plan would work.