Sadie

an extract from Ice Blue, this is one of the dreams that i had that gave me the idea for Ice Blue. Enjoy :)

the wind swept my fringe back, leaving my face bare in the moonlight. my amber eyes lit up in the glow, the silver shards within them almost pulsating with light. i lowered myself to the floor, grateful that the snow hadnt fallen yet. cross legged on the cliff top, i closed my eyes, and for the first time in a very long time, i just listened. my canine ears were able to pick up sounds for miles, in detail. i heard the cars speeding past trident ridge on the freeway, i could hear someones heavy bass track in their car, perhaps a little bit too loud. i heard the clink of cutlery in the restaurants downtown, and the laughs of people on dates that their friends obviously put them up to. i heard the splash of water on dishes in my house, it was nice to know mum was doing fine without me.

 

it had been a year and a half since i'd left, after Tara saw me shift in the back yard, to protect her. Mom had found her, and had planned an attack. the second i heard, i ran back from school, and just as mom emerged from the woods. i jumped over the fence, and mid-leap i shifted and landed in front of tara, hackles raised and a long growl eumbling from my stomach. she left shortly after; he knew he couldnt take me on alone. tara was in shock for a bit, but bounced back surprisingly quickly. she was quiet when i told her everything, about the day in the woods, about the past year, and about dad and mom. she welcomed all of this information, but i could see the pain in her eyes. she was happy for me to stay, but i couldnt put her in danger again, not after what had ust happened, so one night when she was asleep, i snuck into her room, left a note on the side explaining everything, and how much i loved her. i grabbed my few possessions and fled the house into the woods. ive been staying with the pack for the past year and a half, moving from pack member to pack member. for the first few months i stayed mostly at Skylar's, but when she had to go to work, i stay in the meadow with the younger shifters, who cant be in civilisation. occasionally one of the wolves would visit us, but most of the time was spent with them running round playing, with me watching them from on top of 'the wall'. i havent seen them all in four months now. not since damien left. at first it was fine - he'd promised he'd be back in a week, after he'd found Rain, but after a month, the pack really started to wonder whether he would come back at all. some thought he had abandoned us, others thought he was dead. i didnt leave the spot we said our goodbyes for four months. i sat, watching our special glade darken, then fill up with autumn leaves, then snow. it fell, covering my black hide, turning me the colour of Damien. it gave me a phantom comfort, that he was still with me, in my heart. i only moved to relieve myself and eat the food that i could catch. even then, i didnt eat much. i had lost my appetite. after the snow melted, my heart had sunk deep into my chest, and the realisation hit that he wasnt coming back. he had left me, alone. he had promised me he would come back. i had believed him. now look at me. i eventually moved, wincing at my stiff cold muscles, and came up here, to the ridge that is the namesake of our town. i sleep in a small cave off to the side, but most of the time, i sit at the edge and watch over my pack. they know where i am, but they know i want to be alone. Harry and Theo tried to come up here once, but Dad stopped them before they got too close.Dad knew i would react badly to it. i could hear them in the meadow now. Trey was watching over them; his shift started yesterday. Nienna stays with him most days, and makes sure that they all, including Trey, behave themselves. i swear sometimes he's more of a pup than the kids. i could hear Sam yapping, probably at one of the twins, and i could hear the rush of water from the river that flows through the meadow.

 

i hated being up here, isolated. but what i hated more was being surrounded by my pack, and still feeling alone. i guess it's better this way. they dont need me, and i can keep an eye on them from up here without being disturbed. the only one who could bring me out of this state left long ago. i knew i still loved him, but it hurt so much, that i grew bitter, and whenever i thought of him it felt like my chest was ripping in two. i wanted to forgive him, so if he ever came back, we would be back to the way we were, but the damage had been done, and it was irreversible. if he came back now, i dont know what i would do.