7 - Sadie

I knew I was dreaming the second it began. I was standing in darkness, with hints of green, as if I was surrounded by trees. I could hear voices, from somewhere ahead of me. One was pleading; the other was a stern voice. I started to walk towards the voices, and as I got nearer, I could make out some words

 

"You know she'll find out soon enough! I can see it in her eyes! Please, just let me tell her"

“No, it's too risky! It could endanger the whole pack! And her!"

"But she's seen them, and she isn't afraid. She trusts me."

“You went against my direct orders! I told you never to let her see you! Your job was to watch over her, until she was ready to be told the truth. But you walked out, in plain daylight, in front of her mother!"

" I just wanted to see her. It caused no harm, she never suspected"

"You seem to think that just because you've become her 'friend' you can dictate what she knows? You brought her to us, to our home, do you know how bad that could have gone! You saw how jack reacted!"

"I wouldn't have let him touch her! I don't see why you let him stay anyway"

"You know fully well why I let him stay! You dare question my actions?! You could have gotten yourself or her killed! All because you wanted to see her?!"

"I just know how much you want her to join us. She's ready, I can feel it"

"That is where you are wrong. I want her to be here, yes, but I can't force her into a life she didn't choose. I can't make her give up everything she has for something she may not even want!"

"Please, let me show you she is ready, then will you change your mind?"

"I will decide when she is ready...you are forbidden from seeing her"

 

Just then, the light got brighter, as if I was nearing the light, and I heard a tremendous growl

"What?! You can't do that! I can't just leave her!"

"Do not question me! It's my final word. She will know soon enough, but not now"

 

I was almost there. I recognized one voice, but I couldn't remember whose voice it was. This didn't make any sense. Who would be talking about the wolves? The other voice was my wolf. I tried to piece together this dream, but it was too confusing. I know someone was speaking, but why would he be talking to a wolf, and why would, or how could, the wolf be talking back? Just then. I burst through he green barrier to the clearing I was in earlier today, but what I saw shocked me. I saw my wolf, facing away from me, sat down, tail curled up close to his side. But I couldn't see who he was talking to. I started to walk around, to see who it was, but everything suddenly went dark. I could still hear them though.

 

"She has seen us, in her visions. She tells me about them all the time. She's seen Nala!"

"...what? Are you sure?"

"Every morning she sits with me, and tells me about her visions"

"Does she suspect they aren't dreams??"

"No, for now. You know she can probably see us right now?"

I was shocked. How could my dream not be my dream? I fell asleep! It had to be a dream. “Let me show her, and then you'll know if she can handle it -"

"No! It's too risky."

"Then let her work it out for herself, she's smart, she'll guess soon enough. I'm surprised she doesn't know already."

There was a pause in the conversation, and I tried to move forward, but found I couldn't. I was frozen to the spot. It must be a dream, how else could this happen?

"Fine. But if I find out you have told her..."

"I promise alpha, I won't. You have my word."

"Very well. She will learn for herself. But you are still forbidden to see her"

"No! Please, she needs me. I can help her, please alpha"

“My word is final. If I hear about you visiting her again, there will be severe consequences! Am I understood?!"

My wolf hung his head

"Yes alpha"

 

My wolf began to turn around, in the direction of me, and I could almost see who he was talking to. I felt myself unfreeze, and as I went to take a step forward, my world went black.

 

I sat up in my bed, breathing heavily. It had been a dream! I knew it! The only doubt I had, was why everything seemed so real. I could feel the leaves under my bare feet. I could hear the gurgling river on the other side of the clearing. I could smell the sweet honeydew that was scattered around the meadow. It all seemed too real to be just a dream. I didn't know what to think of this, so I put it to the back of my mind. It was still morning, and I went downstairs to see mom had gone to work, leaving a note on the kitchen table for me.

 

Gone to work early - Dan needs me in at the office late. Will be back soon,

Love you

Mom

X

 

 

I grabbed a piece of bread, and stuck it in the toaster - I may as well eat. Waiting for it to toast, I walked out into the back yard, sitting on the porch. I stared at the tree line, silently praying that my wolf would appear out of the darkness. I wished so much that he would return. I waited, sat there like a statue, just staring at the place he normally exits the forest from. I almost jumped out of my skin when the toaster popped. Rushing back in, I saw that I'd burned my toast. I threw it in the bin, and returned to the porch, and sat down once more, sighing with longing for my wolf. Hours passed, as I sat staring at the dark shadows that danced between the trees. I went inside to grab my notebook and pencil case, and came back out and sat on the porch again.

 

 I drew what I had remembered of the clearing, and the wolves. I drew the wolves in detail, remembering vividly the colourings, and sizes of each wolf. I drew the meadow, with the river, and the boulder pile. I drew my wolf and me sitting down in the yard, and then I drew what I remembered from seeing him hiding in the trees. His eyes, his shadow, his paw prints. Then I decided to draw everything. Every dream I had had about the wolves, every daydream, and every "vision".

 

It took me most of the day, as I sketched out every detail of what I had seen, and shaded. Then I spread all of my pictures out on the porch, linking them together. I tried to make sense of what I had seen and what I had heard, either in real life, or in my dreams. I was surrounded by paper, all different colours. There were shadows, eyes, wolves, and the meadow. I realized I was wasting my time; I would never make sense of a dream. I started to pack away, putting the eyes in one pile, shadings in another, wolves in another.

 

I was about to walk back inside, picking up my pictures, when a piece of paper fell out of my book. I flipped it over, and just stared. It was one of mine, but if don't remember drawing it. It was something from my dreams, the one that had repeated itself every night for months.

 

 On the paper, were two cliffs. One was much higher than the other. The lower one was an outcrop from the higher cliff. They were sticking out from a forest, which bordered the Pacific Ocean. The waves were huge, and I could almost hear them crashing against the shore. The moon was shining in a beam, illuminating the top cliff. There were no clouds in the sky, just thousands of stars. It was strange though. I had drawn no clouds, yet there were bolts of lightning shooting down.

 

I looked at the cliffs now. On the lower cliff, staring upwards was a large white wolf. I know now that that was my wolf. I had even drawn his ice blue eyes. I followed his 2D gaze up to the top cliff, and sitting there, lit up by the bright moonlight, was a jet black wolf, lifting her head up to the moon. She had emerald green eyes, and white spots along her foreleg. She was absolutely beautiful. Her fur looked as if it was caught in a slight breeze. I don't remember drawing this, or shading it in.

 

I don't remember these details about my dream. I only remembered a black wolf on a cliff. In my dream, my wolf was nowhere to be seen. There was no lightning, there was no moonlight shining on her. It was very strange, that I could have devised such details, without even knowing I was doing so. I stared at this image for a few minutes, in awe of the detail my brain had produced. This picture couldn't have been the creation of my imagination. It had to be real. It just had to be.

 

I had sat out here all day, sorting out my sketches. I checked the time, and my watch said 9:00pm. Mom should have been back by now, but when I walked around the house, she wasn't anywhere. Must have been held up at work by Dan again. I swear he has a thing for mom. He always seems to find an excuse for her to work late; the files need sorting out, or someone is off sick, or he needs help figuring out how to approach a difficult client. It's always something, and it always manages to make her late home, sometimes by hours. Mom doesn't mind though. She gets paid extra, and she's doing what she enjoys.

 

Dan's wasting his time though. Mom has never, ever gone out with someone, not since dad left. I don't really understand why, but she just can't seem to let go of him. I know it's hard to lose someone you love, but it's been seven years! And she still gets shirty if a genuinely friendly guy asks for her number in Starbucks. It doesn't matter what Dan does, he'll always just be 'Dan from the office'. He's a nice enough guy, but he just seems too nice.

 

Whenever I see him, he calls me 'kiddo', and ruffles my hair, as if I was five. I swear to god, one time I came to the office to drop off mom's keys that had fell out of her pocket, and when I came in, he said " hey kiddo, how's my favourite little lady?" I feel sick every time I talk to him, it's just he's such a suck up. He's constantly asking mom if he can come over to our house for 'meetings'. Seriously, he's gonna get nowhere, fast.

 

Mom being late meant I had a free night, so I went to the kitchen drawer, and pulled out all of the takeaway menus we had there. I decided on a pizza, and phoned up the delivery guy. Well, that's dinner sorted. The sun was just starting to set, so I stood out on the deck, and watched it sink below the tree line. Slowly, the great golden orb was swallowed by the horizon, allowing darkness to stretch its legs. I took in a deep breath as the sun disappeared, and closed my eyes, wishing that my wolf was here with me. Then, as the last fleck of light popped out of existence, I heard a sound that sent shivers down my spine.

 

 Coming from deep in the forest, a long, low note reverberated in the air. It was the sound of a wolf howling. But not any ordinary wolf. I knew this was my wolf. I just knew it.