5 - Sadie

When I opened my eyes, something seemed different. I was facing down, the grass blades tickling my cheeks, but the grass was thicker, uncut. It was slightly damp, still wet from the dew. The light around me was different, as if it had been concentrated. I lifted my head, my wet hair sticking to my face, and as I brushed it out of my eyes, I sharply inhaled at the image before me. I was in the middle of a large meadow, the floor a rainbow of colour, flowers dotting the grass. A river ran through the meadow, about. Third of the way across. On one side of the clearing was a large cliff, with a pile of rubble underneath; remnants of the cliff breaking away. In the other side, was a wall of trees. As I took in my surroundings, I realized with dread where I was. I was sat, right in the middle, of the clearing from seven years ago.

 

Fear struck me like a knife. I froze to the spot, my breath stopped. I had no recollection of getting here, only falling asleep on my wolf. Where was he? I felt around me for a sign of the wolf, and felt soft downy fur next to me, on my left. A gentle nudge meant that he was sat next to me. I looked up at him, and saw that he was staring straight at me, apprehension in his eyes. It worried me, the look. It was more human than ever, but it had a wild feral look within. I wasn't scared; I had come to trust the wolf, like a friend. I didn't know how I got where I was, or why I was here, but I knew that I would be fine, I could just walk back, my wolf would know the way. He probably brought me here, though I had no idea why, or how. He seemed comfortable here, so I guessed it was where he lived.

 

He answered me. He understood me! It dawned on me then that I had asked him where he went after I left for school, and he had taken me to where he goes! It blew my mind. He couldn't have understood me. He's a wolf! They can't understand human, let alone English! It was probably just coincidence, maybe he wanted to feel safe, and so he came home. But surely there would be more wolves. Wolves were pack animals, they were social creatures. Maybe my wolf was a rogue wolf. Without any warning, my wolf uttered a long loud howl, which echoed around the forest. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Dude! A little warning next time!" He looked at me with an apologetic look. I started to stand up, and tried to walk towards the trees, but a very large paw was placed around my waist, and I was gently pulled back within his warm clutches.

 

I was sat in between his front legs, with him looking down at me. I stared into his eyes, just happy that I could call him my friend. But I was still confused as why he pulled me back. I sat like that for about five minutes, when He lifted his head to look at the tree line. I looked around me again, and almost had a heart attack. My internal question was yet again answered. Emerging from the closely packed trees, were wolves. Loads of them. All of them larger than normal wolves, but none of them I noticed were as big as my wolf.

 

They were all different colours. A light grey, with black feet and tail tip, came out on the left side, tail slowly swishing from side to side. Next to it a slightly larger reddish brown wolf trotted out. It had white paws, and white tips on its ears and tail. Its muzzle was white, and a white stripe ran up its face, trailing down its neck and fading on its back. Just behind the red wolf, came another red wolf. It looked almost exactly the same, but it had a thicker body shape, and more intricate white patterns on its face. It had white spots under its eyes.

 

On the right, a dark brown coloured wolf came out, with black ear tips and a black stripe across one eye, and two brown wolves with cream markings walked out on either side. The two brown wolves were trotting, and yapping to each other. The dark brown wolf was staring at me, with bright amber eyes, and a small whine emitted from it. It started to walk over to where I was sat, but the two brown wolves started to veer off to the rock pile, and it turned and followed them.

 

 I started to notice which ones were male and which were female, because of their body shape, their fur, and their faces. All of the grey wolves apart from one were male; the female was very light grey with white spots all over her body. The red wolves looked related, and one was female, the other one was male, the one with the spots under his eyes. The dark brown wolf and the two brown wolves were all male, and the dark brown one looked like the father of the other two, by the way he hovered protectively over them.

 

Two female wolves walked into the clearing; one was very dark brown, almost black, with a light brown ear, and the other one was very light brown with a dark brown ear. They looked like sisters, judging by their close proximity with each other, and they both had different coloured eyes. One eye blue, one eye green. More and more wolves arrived, dropping to their haunches around the clearing. Finally the last two wolves trotted into view. A small grey wolf, with dark grey feet, muzzle, tail and ears walked into the clearing, and immediately ran over to the two brown wolves. Trailing behind him was a beautiful white wolf, with black ear tips, paws and tail, and her fur faded from white to black. She was a magnificent creature, slim and muscular, with a long flowing coat. Her eyes were a golden yellow.

 

She looked over at me for a split second, then back to the pup she was with before, and continued over to her, and dropped to her belly next to the dark brown wolf. The wolves had gathered into a sort of semicircle in front of us. They were all large wolves, almost as tall as a human, apart from the pup, who was playing near the rock pile, jumping off of a large boulder. I noticed that every single one of them had the same circle markings on their left foreleg.

 

 Some were different colours, depending on their fur, but all were the same size shape and place. I guessed that it must be some sort of weird pack symbol or something. Yeah I know it sounds childish that I could think of something so fantastical, but it might be. All around me, the wolves were settling down, some falling asleep, some playing, and some just relaxing. I figured that this was their 'den'.

 

I felt like my wolf was giving me an inside look to his life, and what he does when I'm not with him. It was amazing. None of the other wolves had paid any attention to me, apart from the last two wolves. Even then, the white female wolf was more interested in the grey pup. I thought that she was the last wolf, but soon a rustling alerted me to the presence of another. I looked over to my wolf. His tail laying flat against the floor. His hackles were raised along his neck, and his ears were pressed flat against his skull. His lips were pulled back, showing his long fangs. A snarl escaped from his throat, emanating through the clearing, shaking me to my very core.

 

All of the other wolves were still settled, but facing the direction of the rustling. We only had to wait a few moments before I saw a break in the trees. A very large dark grey wolf came out, with a chipped ear, and some grey markings. Then I looked at his eyes, and saw the dark green orbs focused on me. It was the wolf from when I was younger. He was back.

 

Fear ran through me like an electric current, holding me to the ground. I couldn't feel my legs. My heart stuttered, faltering for a beat, then resuming its quick paced thud. All of the wolves surrounding us weren't worried by the newcomer, so I guessed he was from their pack. He had the markings on his leg. It must be just my wolf that doesn't get on with him. And me. He stepped out of the trees fully, and stared straight at me, the same hatred in his eyes that was in them years ago. He was snarling back at my wolf, almost yowling at times. My wolf stood up, and walked towards the grey wolf, still growling.

 The grey continued to approach as well. They met, and stood facing each other. They were sizing each other up, puffing out their chests, and staring each other in the eyes. I knew what would happen next; another fight. I was in the same place I was years ago, just with a few more wolves. I started to shuffle backwards towards the trees behind me, afraid for myself, and my wolf. I was torn. I wanted to run away from the grey wolf, who had been in every nightmare I have had since I met him, but I didn't want to leave my wolf I felt almost protective over him. Even though we couldn't understand each other, we were friends, and I couldn't leave my friend with a monster.

 I stopped retreating, and stood up, slowly, as to not attract the attention of the grey wolf. Still slowly, I made my way to the rock pile, planning to climb up, and distract the grey wolf long enough to give my wolf a chance to either run or deliver the first blow. But before I got more than a few feet, the dark brown wolf stood up, and walked over to the two wolves, a low grumbling in his chest. The other two saw him coming, and lowered their heads. I instantly knew that the dark brown wolf was the Alpha of the pack. The way that the two wolves didn't dare look him in the eyes, and they respectfully bowed their heads, showing their submission.

 He issued a sharp bark, and the grey wolf, with one last snarl, trotted off to one of the other wolves, the light grey male with a black front paw. He dropped down to his stomach, and continued to stare at me, until the alpha barked again, and his eyes flicked away, to stare at the ground. My wolf turned back to me, but the alpha wolf stopped him, and whined at him, tilting his head a little to the side. In answer, my wolf yipped, and trotted towards me.

 Peace was restored. I still received evil stared from the grey wolf, but he never approached me. During the time that the alpha had resolved the fight, I had regained my confidence. My wolf would keep me safe, and the alpha, for some reason, didn't want me hurt, so there was nothing to be afraid of. I stayed there for an hour, maybe two, just sitting and talking to my wolf like I normally do.

 The other wolves seemed interested in me, and once or twice one of them would approach me. I stayed very still when they did, afraid I would scare them, but they seemed curious; the female grey wolf with white spots all over her came and sat down next to me. She didn't make any noise, and didn't move, but just sat there, until the pup came over, swiftly followed by the white she-wolf. The grey wolf walked off, as the three pup came bounding over, tail wagging furiously. The two brown wolves came over, straight up to me, and sniffed my arm. One of them licked my cheek, and I ruffled the fur on top of his head. The grey pup was more cautious, slowly approaching, and came and sat down directly in front of me. I extended my hand, and he nuzzled it affectionately.

 The white wolf looked on, sat a few yards away. I extended my hand towards her, and she slowly edged forwards to sniff my hand. She allowed me to stroke her in the side if her neck, then she retreated a few yards. I noticed none of the wolves looked me in the eyes, just like they did their alpha. The only wolves that have looked me in the eyes were the alpha, the grey wolf, and my wolf. I also noticed that the entire time I was in the clearing, the alpha wolf didn't take his eyes off of me. It was very strange, as he was looking at me with a sort of protectiveness. It was very strange, but I didn't really take much notice, as I was distracted by my surroundings. I was sat in a field, with a pack of 'friendly' wolves! It was like a dream come true for me. I stayed with the pups and the she-wolf for a while, until my wolf nudged me.

 I looked up at him, and he pointed with his muzzle to the darkening sky. How long had I been here? I must have spent hours sat with him! I needed to get back, before mom did. My wolf stood up, huffing, and started to walk in what I assumed was the direction of my house. I started to follow him, and I heard a whine behind me. It was the alpha wolf. He trotted up to us, and whined again, this time, to my wolf. In answer, he grumbled to the wolf.

 A sharp bark, and a low snarl followed from the alpha, and I felt my wolf lower his shoulders, and his ears drooped. I looked at his face, and it was full of sadness. He was whining at the alpha wolf, almost questioning, and the dark brown wolf shook his great head from side to side. A single tear ran down my wolf’s face. I turned back around, and my wolf and I exited the meadow, into the darkness of the forest.

 I couldn't see a thing, but I kept one hand wrapped within the fur of my wolf. Everything felt so melancholy; my wolf was walking beside me, ears and tail lowered, his head sinking below his shoulders. I stroked his neck, and he leaned into my hand, sighing as he did. I had no idea where I was, but I trusted my wolf. He seemed to know where he was going, and soon enough, we saw a light ahead, then the house. He stopped at the tree line, not coming out into the yard.

 That meant mom was back. Great. I turned towards him, and his face was inches away from mine, making me jump. Another tear rolled though his fur, and he whined at me. I didn't understand why he was so sad, he wasn't normally like this when I said goodbye to him.

"What's wrong boy?" No reply. His eyes whipped up from lying at the floor to my face, and he licked my cheek, before turning away back towards the other wolves.

 This wasn't like him at all. I felt like he was trying to tell me something, but couldn't. I whispered my goodbye, like normal, but this time it felt different. It had a sense of finality about it. The shadow turned around to rest his ice blue eyes on me, and howled a loud howl, full of pain. It was the worst howl I had ever heard. It was like the howls I heard the day my dad left. My wolf lowered his head after a few seconds, and melted back into the darkness. I just stood there for a while, feeling a sort of emptiness inside, but I didn't know why.

 I heard mom get out of her car in front of the house, so I ran up to the house and slowly opened the back door. It was mercilessly silent. I snuck upstairs, and laid my school books out on the bed, as if I had been studying. I heard the front door slam, and the footsteps making their way to my room. Soon, mom appeared in my doorway.

"Hey sweetie, you feeling any better?"

"Huh"

"The school phoned me up, and told me that you didn't arrive at school, because you were sick" thank you Tara! Whenever I ditch school, she tells the teachers that I am really ill, and I do the same with her, it saves a lot of hassle.

“Yeah, I feel better now."

Mom looked at my work on the bed, and sighed.

"Goodnight sweetheart, I'm going to bed early. Long day at work"

"Night mom". She turned my light off as she left, and the second my door shut, I leapt off of the bed and sprinted to my window. I scanned the edge of the forest for any sign of my wolf, but could see him anywhere. It felt strange, not having him there. I had grown so used to looking out of my window and seeing his eyes looking at me. I started to worry about him, and why he wouldn't be there. Then I remembered our last parting. He had seemed sad about something, but I didn't know what. And that howl; the howl that made me want to run away from it as fast as I could, it must have been his goodbye. His final goodbye. I had no proof, but I had a feeling, that I wouldn't see my wolf again.

I pulled my quilt off of my bed, and wrapped it around me. I sat on the window ledge, staring out into the darkness, wishing that my wolf would return in the morning, but knowing that he probably wouldn't. And that was when the first tear fell down my face. I sobbed for hours, mourning over the day’s events, all of the fear I had felt, all of the sadness I had remembered from the last time I saw dad, and all of the loss I was reminded of. Emotions flooded through me, not staying long enough for me to make any sense of them, but long enough to let me know that they were there. In the early hours of the morning, my eyes ran dry, and as exhausted as I was, I slipped into unconsciousness.