Crimson Bliss

My breaths sharp

Echoing my feelings within

The bloodstained metal sits by my side

Crimson trickles down my skin...

 

My heart rushing

Trying to stop these blood stained dreams

I'm slowely collapsing

Why can no one hear my screams?

 

I'm hating everything

Whats so great about life?

We'll all be rotting in a whole one day

So why is there strife?

 

I'm trembling

Craving this crimson bliss

Why can't I just bleed

Just one deadly kiss...

 

My breath sharp

Echoing my feelings within

The blood stained metal by my side

Crimson trickles down my skin.

 

Author's Note

i know my punctuation sucks =/

Reviews

[...MysteryGirl...]

I really like this one!

[TheKaylaPup]

Great Poem, and it rhymes! I think this is your best rhyming poem I've read.

[Rima]

Your Punctuation looks find to me, on the last stanza I would get rid of the period on 'crimson trickles down my skin' or add two more periods like - ...
Anyway, I really like it.
Good job!