clean as could be

I showered with the window open
and the powdered snow blew in
across the steam, a stream of 
mist bathed on my dampened skin.

Freshness grew as the train flew
by and honked its horn at me,
my flesh not dressed, the cold 
air stressed reactions to a
naked body. 

Across the white there,
I fit in to cold patterned crystals
dancing in sin, where smiling 
to myself all bare 
I crept into myself 
through a mile of hair
as cold and clean
as could be. 

Reviews

[JMaster1]

you made me wonder , I love when you do it

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The descriptiveness of the prose almost lacks integrity. I find as a reader puled in more by the imagery rather than wording, which yes, is a much better thought, but not ideal, well done.

[Dark Twain]

f

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Classic in the making, great flow and powerful use of wording. risky motion and time, feeling poured from the screen!

[Dark Twain]

Dance or me, Mrs. Bojangles.

[GTVile]

You use very pretty description. Usually description is either all functional and loses artistic value, or is so flowery that it doesn't even resemble what it was supposed to say. You, however, tread that balance very well in this. Its got a beautiful airy flow to it, but it remains grounded in your ability to describe the train going by. Also, I like the mid-line rhymes that you throw in there every so often. That makes it a bit more artistic than just functional. Very, very good. I might just favorite this one.

[atom]

your poems are just illustrations painted with words. This is just another great example of that. You have such a way with imagery.

[Isolophobe]

Beautiful imagery. Could make any reader jealous and upset that these are just words, not their surroundings. Also nice pic, whats that, a gorgeous body? From what I can make of it, it is.

[Ed Hart]

what a nice fresh feast of words