Direction

My organs are steamed in a boiled swamp
and I stare at my skin spread across wetland shores,
I figure my bobbing brain is fine on air
as long as I still stare

A sly caress of abdomen beneath my clammy hand,
Stripped of skin, a blood mess
just a grab of melting breast

Fluorescent slimes' a friend of mine
in caves doubled over by dark
It is hard to say I'm lost today
when time is consumed by sharks

Lucidly, I stand on knees
that are broken and decayed
I looked towards light
a bulb proclaimed,
"Oh look! I've found my way!"

Author's Note

;(

Reviews

[Wisconsin]

Sorry. Didn't notice the read request until now. Haven't signed in in a while.
Poem looks alright. Don't have any nitpicks.

[atom]

Great flow and use of metaphor/simile (which you're always damn good at). I really like this piece. Also, nice picture! (wink wink)

[Titan]

Wow, you manage to fit so much meaning in such a small amount of words. Bravo.

[AJChallenger]

Well done. You show a good mastery of the form. :-)

[Emily B]

oh, wow!!!

[elephant]

the first stanza is has really excellent rhythme.I like that you used blood mess rather than bloody mess it sounded orginal and not so done and it added a clear image.I like how you transioned to a cave it was smoothe you tend to do that pretty well i dont know how do but you do.I would have said crabs or crawfish i prefer crustaceans over carnivorous fish metaphors,ha.im not quite sure what your theme is maybe thats why i like your work but i liked this one too.My only suggestion is use a crustacean next time lol.

[celyn]

You make ordinary words beautiful (and strangely haunting) by fitting them in exactly the right place.
I love this.