quest.ion

we are marble statues
and i like to touch you
and if i were a painting
would you stare?

a tree fell on my ankles
action to dispel and the
woodland creatures ; they were
soft and they were swell
my shivers continuous
disprupted by bells

i have grooves for the
braves and curious


time; it tells
 

Author's Note

ay, what a mighty day.

Reviews

[Scott W. Martin]

I try to make it known that I don't consider myself a poet by any means. I enjoyed this poem except for where it gets to the line "woodland creatures ; they were" where I feel like it is a little broken mostly because of location of the line breaks. I would consider having it like

a tree fell on my ankles
action to dispel
and all the woodland creatures
were soft and they were swell
my shivers continuous
disprupted by the bells

Know that I feel wholeheartedly that you are the artist and that your personal artistic intention should be preserved. Please understand that this is only a suggestion. Keep it up.

[Alice]

This is my favourite. I'm inarticulate as to why.

[JMS]

this tells of longing to be met by an adequate foe

[Isolophobe]

I liked this. It feels really natural and the way its written, it sounds more like your own thoughts even with the rhyme scheme.

[Rainbow Rider]

A very nice unconventional write. May i be so bold as to say you forgot the 't' in statues. Come back and edit again, {haha}. I really liked this, it's a style I wish I could write in, but alas I am stuck with a mind that rhymes. ,,,,,Mhk Melvin

[zaney]

this poem has a strange rhythm to it, that makes sense. the words aren't exact. it's thoughtful.

[Hedra Helix]

thats dope, balanced and off kilter at the same time. I like the non rhyme melding into rhyme before you can expect it, throws you off makes it fresh. ;)

Sweet ;) And thank you for reading me, I dont frequent often anymore and its always a shock to be read. Nice shock.

I think you should add titles if you have the energy for it. Let us connect the piece with its name, makes it more concrete?

[Eagle Cruagh]

We were marble statues and
we could touch: It would be
safe then, because you would just
be cold marble, nothing could happen.
"If I were a painting, would you stare?"
Do they stare at the warm, live girl ?

Another beautiful, but sad poem by this
writer.
Looking forward to better days and
happier poems.
Rated 100 %

-----Eagle Cruagh

[Eagle Cruagh]

Glad you got through the mighty day

And brought new poetry to play

Tomorrow come and bring a friend

The end.

------- Eagle Cruagh