wow, self-deprecation to the max....or i would really like to have someone tell me the real truth about me...and it may have to be birthed from within.
such a powerful three lines--love the senryu....my only problem here, and it is a personal (maybe English teacher) thing...is in second line...would change "that" to "who"---
but i love the idea of this so much.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
English teachers have always been my favorite people, thanks for catching that for me!
oh that an awful thinking,i wont wish for that birthing the one who will tell me he/she hates me .those three lines are such powerful line,thought provoking it got me thinking how it will feel to birth a person who will tell me they hate me.......nice poem though
-- ohhhh... self-flagellation to conceal pain with more pain... i know this feeling so well... and i'm absolutely stunned by how intensely you expressed it... -- during the worst phase of my life, i believed in God briefly and i used to pray for a greater pain to take away the pain i was experiencing... -- it was a relief when my life changed after more than six years of psychological agony... i had given up all hope of ever being hopeful...
wow, self-deprecation to the max....or i would really like to have someone tell me the real truth about me...and it may have to be birthed from within.
such a powerful three lines--love the senryu....my only problem here, and it is a personal (maybe English teacher) thing...is in second line...would change "that" to "who"---
but i love the idea of this so much.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
English teachers have always been my favorite people, thanks for catching that for me!