Cold girls from hell

I think this should be longer, so this is probably posted prematurely. Just wanted to get it out there.

You have a thing for translucent, goose pimpled skin that
offers nothing and refuses to absorb nourishment from the sun.

Cold girls from hell bring nothing to the table except walls to climb
and you're sad to find out there is not much behind them
but the billow of her own calamity.

You described her as effervescent in the depths of your head,
but it turns out she's more demure than ever with bits of depravity
marbled throughout her.

She only gobbles foods that will burn her and stands still
in the shower till her flesh reddens and bubbles.

The poor woman of the arc she won't follow, still
travels at enormous speed waiting for the comfort of heat that can't find her.

The more you're good to her, the less she's there.

Reviews

[Norah]

A beautiful poem. Had a feel of a song. I felt the want and the need of the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.

[Steven]

I mean... the TITLE! Lol. Great

The whole piece made me feel like I heard someone talking to someone else about a place I've been and am very familiar with.

That's.. about all I need to say ;)

[wolfshrew]

Thanks for the review, I think we've all been here to some extent on one side or the other.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

[M. Shepherd]

Agreed on wk's praise of "billow of her own calamity" - that echoes wildly in me. To seek warmth and only find the cool, impassive nature of heat is dispiriting and our cold girls become colder women.

[wolfshrew]

I could probably talk to you about this for hours, the heat and cold.
Thanks for reading, as always.

[W.k.kortas]

"(T)he billow of her own calamity"...you don't know how much I wish I would have written that. What strikes me about this is the piece is the use of the language--the strong images jacob noted, the effective and judicious use of flesh and heat and cold. I won't weigh in on the length of the piece, though I would concur again with jacob that it in no way feels underwritten. I would also concur with serah as to how remarkable your look at what she termed so wisely as "feminine vulnerability" is. This is awfully fine writing.

[wolfshrew]

Thank you so much, I definitely feel the phrase encompasses most of what I wanted to say in this poem. I always enjoy your feedback, thanks for giving it.

[. serah .]

-- i don't know how you achieve it but you express the vulnerability of feminine power and the power of feminine vulnerability... -- the last line of this piece is very significant for me... -- if i was 'the other person' in this equation, the one who was 'good to her', then her diminishing presence would inspire me to find newer and more intense ways of expressing what her freedom and liberation mean to me... and i would do what i could to validate the momentum of her pace... -- i would match her pace rather than hold her back and make her 'conform' to a pre-existing notion of what a girl-woman ought to be... -- i would evolve with her as she is evolving and discovering more and more nuances in what evolution means as well as creatively interpreting the meaning of evolution itself...

and here's the most startling part of this piece for me

-- isn't a given society assessed on the basis of how it treats the girls/women in it...? -- so, if she's not where society wants her to be, then society better be where she is... at any given point in time... -- or so i think...

-- there's a sense of escaping from captivity in this piece... even from the captivity of affection and attention... and i like it... it seems like a new kind of liberation to me...

[wolfshrew]

I always like the take you have on not just my writing, but every other review I see you write around here. You're the most inquisitive and thorough writer I've come across here and I very much appreciate it.

For me, I think the strong pull of liberation and independence is what keeps this woman from being more, "there" with the "other person". Her deep want for the warmth and comfort of companionship and knowing of another person feels important, but so far away even if the potential may be right in front of her. She's running toward is, but keeps bumping right back into her secluded nature she has built.

[. serah .]

-- thank you so much... your appreciation means a lot to me... and thank you for shedding more light on your post... it's always very rewarding for me to hear from the poet and revisit their work empowered with new insights... the conversation helps me learn and grow... (especially because english is not my first language)... and i am able to understand life and poetry better...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some girls just seem to thrive on self-deprivation...and if we try to love them...they just disappear into themselves...

very stark imagery in this...and my only suggestion is that this has the right length...it has impact that it might lose a bit if it got overlong...but then i always feel less is more.

[wolfshrew]

I'm glad to hear the length feels natural, I worried about it feeling that it came to an abrupt stop.

I've been working more toward length in my writing, but need to remember that sometimes yes, less is more.

Thanks for the read.