salted coffee

I'd tuck myself in up to the chin
and turn up my edges
to sooth your disapproval of me.

Said you'd keep me forever
if I weren't unbearable like a scoop of salt in your coffee,
I was added accidentally.

How much do I exist in a room that only contains me?

I deconstruct the oval parts
of my body to search for all,

left unsaid.

I tucked myself in the bill
of a cormorant for safety
and sloshed around in stored liquids,
thinking,

“keep me warm”
“clean me up”
“sort me out and take my smut”

I dissolved the room while outside
of it and all the marrow left behind,
a mammoth guilt
and barbaric tears
were pumped from the guts
of my mutiny,

but they couldn't behave through hardship
and the beastly oeuvre and the torture.

All they could hear were bubbling sounds
in my belly and a buzzard of a brain
passed off as an amusement by the bored.

Put your ear up to listen
and feel a valley or curve,
an abdominal slope
and true obsession
that keeps me empty
and light headed.

I'll mull over the potential,
the actual madness that I fail to accept,

but

ultimately never avoid
and intimately crowd me out
of every room I enter
till I step out
and slam the door.

Reviews

[Woody]

some of the lines are unforgettable. I won't list them. they are so many. you write beautifully, wolfshrew!!!!

[wolfshrew]

Thank you very much, I appreciate your kind words.

[W.k.kortas]

This is a deeply affecting piece--there is very much the notion of putting oneself fully out there for all too see, but there is none of the shrillness or shrieking that is all too prevalent in pieces of that nature, and I think it is a testament to the quality of the writing. The pacing, the imagery, the use of language all are pitched perfectly. Pieces such as this are hard to write, and fraught with the danger of having the emotional content take the wheel from the actual writing and seize control, but that is never a danger here. Top-shelf stuff.

[wolfshrew]

I am extremely flattered that you thought so highly of it. I am working a lot of writing stuff out right now that I feel positive about and this piece is definitely one of those.

[olla]

I had to read this several times.. I can hear the voice of an old soul.. I really thought I had secured all the leaking rents long ago.. but my shield is old and thread bare in places I didn't notice until I read your piece..

[wolfshrew]

Thank you for your words. It scares me to realize my need for various times of approval will plague me for my life, but it really seasons me and I think that's important.

[olla]

perhaps not so much a need for approval as time passes but wondering if there is any one who can still hear me..

[wolfshrew]

It's hard to find people who aren't standing around with their hands over their ears while they're attempting to make connections.

[olla]

everyone just wants to be heard.. but sometimes we need to listen as well..

[. serah .]

-- i relate to this piece at an excruciatingly personal level... you write very powerfully and poignantly...

[Chris]

"and feel the a valley or curve, " - ?

I appreciated the "salt" ...and the wounding.

[wolfshrew]

Fixed typo, thanks for your eyes.

[Chris]

It looked like you worked too hard for me NOT to speak up.

[wolfshrew]

Thank you. I've been working hard for my writing mind so much more lately, I hope to continue.

[Chris]

The word flow felt like a coffee-cafe` stand-up... the "voice" and body-language would be everything.