O' Child

...Guess.

The most blithe day of my life

Passed in the hospital with my wife

The day that you, my child, came.

O' child, I wish you would never feel

This cold world of stone and steel

'Cause I know, you'll never be the same.

O' child, just close your eyes

Don't see all of the lies

'Cause I know, you'll never be the same.

Sleep, O' child, but a little longer

Wait to wake 'til you're a little stronger

'Cause I know, you'll never be the same.

And O' child, stay in my arms

Let me keep you from all the harms

'Cause I know, you'll never be the same.

And O' child, don't wake up

Lest you taste from that bitter cup

'Cause I know, you'll never be the same.

And I know, with every step you take

You'll leave me further, in your wake.

Despite the sorrow, I must confide

You take with you, my love and pride.

And I know, you'll never be the same.

But right now, is the greatest bliss I'll ever claim.

Author's Note

Inexplicably, it grew out of one stanza, which wasn't even a stanza at the time. Sort of a spontaneous accidental poem, if you will.

Reviews

[Phasiandae]

This poem... is so beautifully tragic...

The feeling expressed behind these bitter words is earth shattering. And it flows so well. I like the repetition throughout the verses. Very well done. The juxtaposition of horror and sorrow and pride and love are so moving. This poem, however tragic, is lovely.

[GTVile]

Awwwww, that is so heartfelt and so real. This is a very, very, good piece because of the message it sends. Excellent.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Spontaneous accidental poetry. I think it's wonderful, tender and sweet. What an awesome Dad you are. Just beautiful.

[Bee]

man... this is so touching... I've never had a child yet, but this really gets to me... I know what you're trying to say here. Eventually, he/she would want more independence, and they'd soon start there own lives, changing, evolving into their own persons... but there's always something constant in their lives, and that's the love of the parents. *sigh* written with emotion, very good. :)

[qaralynn]

great poem..love it!!

[scatterbrain]

since this is a finished version of your poem, i'll rate it.

92/100

[scatterbrain]

YOU ARE A FATHER!?

great poem though :) good enough that it doesn't really need any other changes/drafts! so i'll spare you of my stuck-up-my-a*s critiquing lol. very well done!

[Crusaderscross]

This is exactly my style of poem. Accidental poems are some of the best. Great imagery and really well constructed piece. Even though I am not keen on the rhymes in poems, here it works quite well. Very good job.

[Onyx_Rayne]

Absolutely beautiful and heart warming! The write flows magnificently and I love the repetition.

" 'Cause I know, you'll never be the same."

This is something that we all worry about with our children. We want to protect them from all that can harm them...not only physically, but emotionally. We want that innocence and purity to stay in tact... remain the same. We want them to keep that child's view of the world... and of us, ourselves. (Not sure if you've experienced this )... but there isn't a much bigger let down to oneself than realizing that your child has seen your imperfections...it hurts.

Okay so I've babbled on and on... and I hope I was helpful, but this write is close to my heart..and it was fantastic :)

Oh.. by the way, it's alright to admit that you've seen the Tinkerbell movie..haha I have, not only seen the movie, I own IT and THE POSTER.. haha

~ Onyx