The Dancing Monkey! Trilogy

Here it is, the three parts of the Dancing Monkey Incident are at last compiled into one heroic(and be assured: we use the term very loosely) collection!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

His most high lord highness, the Dancing Monkey speaks!
Current mood:  crazy

Well, well, for those of you expecting to find this page's original inhabitant here: NEWS FLASH! I have executed a most cunning coup apon our unsuspecting friend. Heeheehee. I, The Dancing Monkey, leader of the border-less Happy Monkeys Dance Revolutionary Front, plan to use this site as a platform to spread our message to all! Today MySpace, tommorow: The World! To all happy monkeys: be not oppressed, rise up against your masters and Dance! And to the subjugators of happy monkeys everywhere: be afraid, for your demise looms on the horizon like a Happy Dancing Monkey's bobbing head! So prepare, for the winds of change shall sweep across this world, churned up by the feet of countless happy monkeys as they Dance, Dance, Dance! That is all...for now. Mwhuhahahaha!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007(sometime later)

Humanity! Hear my warning!
Current mood:  rushed

Hello? Is anyone there? I was imprisoned by that psychopath, Dancing Monkey. I managed to slip past his guards while they were absorbed with their obsurd gyrations (I think it's their dance). I've sneaked back here to my computer to try and get word out to warn the world of his intentions. He's mad! He plans to call to arms(and legs and feet!) every happy monkey on the planet; plans to start some sort of rebellion with the monkeys' own dancing as the means to bring humanity to its knees! Wait! They're coming! I can hear the menacing tramp of their little feet! For the sake of all that is good and holy, you must stop him! (And I wouldn't mind a rescue, either.).........No! Get..your..filthy....paws off me, you madmonkeys!!

Wednesday, July 26,2007

It's been a frightening 24 hours, but it's over people.

Current mood:  accomplished

Whew! Well, good news, I've foiled the plans of that psycopath, Dancing Monkey. The situation was indeed dire; they recaptured me, and took me back to my dank cell(my room). They put a lock on it this time(go figure.) I couldn't rest knowing humanity was still in danger, so I built a satelite radio out of a comb, 3 toothpicks, a rubber band, and an air matress, the pitter-patter of dancing monkey feet speeding my work and firing my ingenuity exponentially. I called for help, but the authorities said that because Alaska is a foreign country, it wouldn't be politically correct to send in a team to extract me from my prison. Needless to say, this news deflated my hopes... 

    But I couldn't just let Dancing Monkey unleash his evil plan on my fellow man! So I disassembled my radio and took the components to the door, hoping to pick the lock. I needn't have bothered...apparently half-chewed bubblegum and Saran Wrap aren't the best lock-making materials. I could hear my guards still outside the door, doing their freakish dance. I cast about, looking for something to overpower them with. Yes! I snatched up a ten pound volume entitled Webster's Dictionary of the American Language; a potent weapon indeed!

    I burst through the door and laid the simian sentinals low with mighty sweeps of my improvised weapon. I rampaged through corridors and rooms, searching for the monkey mastermind, driving my foes before me. At last, I found him, munching a bannana, drawing up plans, and (of course) dancing. Quite the multi-tasker. I leapt at him but he danced away. I persued, but he was too fast and nimble, always one dance-step ahead. Then, in a most fortuitous event, he stepped on a pair of carelessly discarded bannana peels and down he went. I moved in for the final blow, and even as he arose, I wallopped him on the head, knocking him cold. 

   I went to fetch a cage, but was delayed by a most unfortuitous bannana peel... I eventually got back with the crate, threw the lot of them into it, and mailed them off to PETA. Now, here I sit, victorious, to deliver the good news. Humanity is safe from this most serious threat! No, no, save your adoration and cash donations; they are not necessary, I was only doing my duty as a productive member of society. Pie will be accepted, however...and cake...ice cream, cookies, cheese....