144 Words on Despair

Maybe the most structure I've ever put into a poem. Yeah, that gives you an idea how little structure I use, haha.

Wandering these serpentine paths so lost

A black veil before my eyes

Left alone to count the cost

Step by step as hope dies

Bit by bit losing my heart

Each beat twists in my chest

Feel I'm not playing my part

Though I have done my best

Carry me to a new day

Bury my bruised and broken soul

Just turn around and walk away

Leave it rotting in this hole

A silent grave in the dark

Away from the sun's blinding glare

In a wasteland barren and stark

This is the defining of despair

Now at last I lay dead

And I thank you, my friend

Though your hands are stained red

You brought me to the end

All I had ever really wanted

To find my way and live

And not have my heart haunted...

...Feel I've nothing left to give.

Reviews

[Franklin...]

Yes, I always found meters a somewhat beguiling subject in high school English, so I never really gave it much thought, I'm afraid. Thank you for the critique! :)

[Poeticpiers]

good rhyme scheme well thought out content but missing meter spoils the effect