Untold

Set the scene
To a man waking at dawn
In front of an audience
To lovers reminiscing
Outside of a small cafe
At midnight
To a woman breathing
In all of the air
Existing in an open field
To a child opening
The front door on her
First day of school
To a boy returning home
Only to find scattered
Pieces of chinaware
On his living room floor
And his mother crying
To the sounds of jazz
Within a bar during the late
Hours of night served
Over drafts and liquor
To the new generation
Of Youth and coming
Of age in the suburbs
Without a worry in the world
To Detroit warfare
And mindless violence
Stretching across cities
To love at first sight
In the bookstore
Over coffee and poetry
To hipsters and activists
Parading the campuses
Swallowing tear gas
But never their words
To the wilderness
Filled with beautiful
Nothingness
To alleys filled
With needles
And lost hope
To sadness walking
Along highways and
Beneath bridges to sleep
And cry

Reviews

[Jena]

This is really good! Don't listen to the person who said this is bad because it isn't at all

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Plain and pure expressions of varied emotions...well done!

[Teagan James Park]

I really enjoyed this piece. You include a wide variety of objects I particularly loved this part
"To hipsters and activists
Parading the campuses
Swallowing tear gas
But never their words"
Frankly this is a beautiful poem and you have a real way with words. The raw emotion and clear imagery was amazing in this piece.
Some poets pull out the thesaurus for every other word and use long, complicated words to seem more intelligent. You don't do this at all, but the intelligence and depth is there without a doubt.
Good work, and keep it up.

[Tyler Trelease]

Thank you Teagan, I appreciate that. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'd definitely keep it up. Wonderful review!

[Teagan James Park]

I hope you don't mind but I've sent read requests to quite a few of my friends for this piece.
read moreI hope you don't mind but I've sent read requests to quite a few of my friends for this piece.
I thought it was wonderful and definitely deserves more reviews.

[Tyler Trelease]

I don't mind at all! Thank you so much.

[Karl Woof Junior]

usually i say keep trying to aspiring writers but this is robotic so go be a robot somewhere else

[Tyler Trelease]

It's funny you say that, this poem along with a few others were just published in a great online magazine. Thanks so much for the review Karl. Very constructive.

[Karl Woof Junior]

its funny on my end too cause that was the first time ive actually not told someone what they were missing, but there was nothing here. i dont fake a face when i smell s**t, there is your truth mine ours the and a pariahs doubt, your welcome

[Tyler Trelease]

It's, "you're" not "your."

[Karl Woof Junior]

just try harder next poem

[Mina]

This is soo emotive and sensitive :)

[Kleio13]

pure emotion and i love how you don't try to be fancy like some poets do. You just bleed it. Nice work, man :)