June 8, Lindisfarne Abbey, Northumberland, England. 793 A.D.

Brother Gilbert looked out at the North sea. The sky was grey, matching the calm mist that rose off the waves. A gentle, salty breeze wafted up, and played with the brown fabric of his robes. He rested his elbows on the stone railing of the monastery wall and sighed. This was his first break in a long time. 

He was a young priest, but everyone was working hard these days. He had just got back from traveling all across England, blessing homes and trying his best to cure sick families. Most of Europe was suffering. Plagues ravaged the lands, kingdoms fell, and sickness left the cobblestone streets littered with bodies. He shut his eyes to try and block out the images of the carnage. Emaciated horses pulled wooden carts stacked with bodies. Groups of men walked down the allies, moving rotting bodies to piles at the sides of the roads, since there was no spaces left to bury them. No matter what he ate or drank, he could not rid his senses of the horrid smell of the sickness. 

 Oh Lord! he prayed. Please deliver us from this time of darkness! 

A heavy bell rang out from it's tower; the signal a ship was coming to shore. Brother Gilbert leaned forward over the railing, trying to see the visitors through the heavy mist. The bell tolls were slow and heavy, echoing over the peaceful beach. Seagulls floated on the cool ocean air, cawing in their high pitched voice. 

A dark shape was slowly coming out of the mist. Brother Gilbert squinted to make it out. A chill went down his spine. It was the head of a beast, a wooden dragon. The metal bell continued to toll as the ship loomed closer. More heads emerged from the fog. Brother Gilbert gripped the cold stones tightly as the image of ships followed the dragon heads. The ships had a single mast, a wide, long body, and two post one each end of the ship that formed the heads of beast. Oars swung from the sides of the ship, like a sea-monster with many legs. He flinched as the wood of the boat crunched into the sands of the beach. 

Below him, he could see Father Rowan and three other monks walking down the stone pathway to greet the visitors. But Brother Gilbert sensed something was wrong. The screech of the seagulls, and low tolls of the bell sent a wave of danger through the air. 

There was a sudden splash in the water near the ships. Dark figures dropped over the sides of the ships and wadded through the waters. Brother Gilbert racked his brain, trying to identify the sailors. He had spend many hours in the library, absorbing information over countless scrolls and ancient writings of all the different cultures. But nothing he knew compared to these strange visitors. 

When the beings came further into view, his breath caught in his throat. They were giants, draped with furs and leather. He could hear the clink of their metal armor as they walked onto the sand. Some grew grizzly beard that obscured the bottom half of their faces. All wore metal helmets that seemed to resemble those of old Greek Warriors. The metal bent across their foreheads, down the bridge of their nose, and covered the sides of their faces. 

Men continued to pour over the sides of the ships. One man walked ahead of every one else. His boats left deep imprints in the sand behind him as he walked toward Father Rowan. When he was about five yards away from  Father Rowan, the man in the front reached to his belt and pulled out a long, double-bladed ax. Brother Gilbert's gut clenched. Father Rowan's steps faltered. Before he could respond, the stranger swung the ax. 

Brother Gilbert stumbled back from the wall, eyes wide in horror. Father Rowan hunched over. The stranger yanked his ax back, and Father Rowan fell motionless on the sand. The other monks turned to flee. Behind them, men drew swords and notched arrows. The monks never made it behind the wall. The last thing Brother Gilbert saw was the dark stain of blood on the ax before he ran inside. 

"Lock the doors! We are under attack!" He shouted through the halls. It didn't take long for the other Monks and Priest to realize what was happening. People ran through the halls, closing any door that locked. Brother Gilbert ran with a group of other monks to the library, which had stone walls and two doors that both locked securely. 

Screams and panicked shouts echoed  through the dark halls. Brother Gilbert forced his legs to move faster. What did these strangers want? As much as Brother Gilbert hated to admit, he knew the bitter answer. The monastery housed gold and precious jewelers. Everything from the iron crosses on the walls to the golden wine goblet used in the masses were valued. But what kind of barbarian would attack the house of God?

The group of monks ran into the library, hurrying to lock the wooden doors behind them. The torches along the walls offered dim like in the dark room. The men huddled together across from the door. Heavy boots stomped through the halls. Blood curdling shrieks filled the air. The metallic smell of blood wafted into Brother Gilbert's nose. He now knew the smell of fear. 

Something pounded against the door, cracking the wood and causing all the men to flinch and shrink further back. As the pounding continued, the wood of the door moaned under the pressure. Brother Gilbert scurried away from the group towards the back door. He signaled the others to follow him, but they shook their heads in fear, not daring to move. As he closed the door behind him, he heard wood snapping. The group of monks yelled as their attacker bared down on them. Brother Gilbert raced down the dark tunnel.

He found himself outside, somewhere at the back of the monastery. A monk he knew well ran passed him. He looked over his shoulder just as an arrow flew into his back, and he stumbled to the ground. Brother Gilbert drove behind a nearby pile of wooden crates. His breath was ragged. He could feel his heart pound through the clothe of his robes, against the metal cross he always wore around his neck. 

He gripped the cross tightly as he began to pray. 

Our father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name 

More screams ragged around him. He shut his eyes tightly. 

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

He heard the war cry of one of the pirates, followed by the blunt sound of an ax hitting something. Brother Gilbert swallowed. The muscles of his throat were tight. 

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. 

Boots crunched the ground, getting louder. He could sense in evil presence coming closer. 

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. 

Brother Gilbert jumped as one of the wooden crates was thrown against a wall. A shadow loomed over him. He slowly looked up to see a figure standing behind him. The man's helmet shadowed his face, turning his eyes into black pits. His red bear covered his neck in knotted curls. 

For thine is the kingdom

The savage raised his sword. 

And the power and glory for ever. 

Brother Gilbert's vision blurred as the sword impaled him. 

Amen.    

Reviews

[Francis Bernath]

I like it, a bloody beginning to a very war-driven culture. I do lists of pros and cons so I hope this helps!

CONS:
1. Random spelling mistakes here and there. Lots of mix ups with there, their, they're and other such spelling mistakes. Some words were entirely wrong but I understood what was meant. Those are easy fixes and don't have anything to do with the overall plot of the story.
2. Some of the sentences were choppy, too short or too long. Punctuation was off a little but these are key in tone and inflection of both the narration and dialog. Please read over it again to make sure.
3. The prayer that you use is relevant and I like the way you narrated it. However, one problem. The doxology "For thine is the kingdom, power, and glory forever yours" was added almost 500-800 years after this. The prayer would end at "deliver us from evil". That may be a history buff's pickiness but I just thought I'd point it out.

PROS:
1. Great character, I could feel his fear in the narration and in every move he made. I could actually see the scene with the way he was describing it. I think that the impact of his death at the end is also really awesome.
2. This entire chapter draws me in. It is interesting, violent, but it has a purpose and it ends with the main character (narrator) dying which is what cements the interest. I NEED to read more. Not want, need. Because the story, technically, hasn't even started. Great job with that!
3. Great descriptions overall. I would say that you've got this world set up the way you need and that you can go a great deal further with every chapter. Describing these places, civilizations, and just general movements and perceptions of characters in this particular way, with an outside view, is really inventive and unique.

Overall it was great! I am going to read more and review. Awesome job!

[A.L.Exley]

This review was very helpful, thank you! Im busy with school, and am working on another story, so thd updates will come in slow. Ive never been a grammer wizard, and im a little more focused on the development of the story, but l'll try to correct mistakes as soon as i can. Hope you enjoy!

[Francis Bernath]

No problem. Can't wait to read more!