"To Hell I'm Bound"

I imagine a man. And he's torn between so many things in life. Each line a different issue, each word a different thought. I think that man is me...

silence bred is silent destruction
feelings met are feelings corrupted

emotions mixed is emotional worry
mentality unfixed, so this is my story

Innocence lost, is evil unfound
religious costs, holiness is drowned

strangest thoughts are strange obsessions
when I'm to pass, is god's discretion

Misunderstanding is not understood
To hate me now, is to hate me for good

Paranoia too much does never exist
But i lock away this ignorant bliss

to explain to you would be a waste
your puny mind, your simplistic taste

I love you too much to give you this burden
The heavy choice of when I'm to hurt them

He has chosen for me when I'm to choose
But I still have the choice to win or lose

Out of spite, I go into wind and nothing
With no hope or dreams, to continue running

I stop at the crossing, to turn each way
I ask the question, where does she stay?

No response, but my love does not fail
For he continues to ask, whom do I hail?

I give to her now, my unfailing heart
One life to live, there is no new start

Feeling the hatred of whom I've become
So many regrets, so much love undone

I care too much, through the life I've ridden
But now you know where my feelings are hidden

They are right here, under your hair
My thoughts are lost inside of your stare

I'm sorry you love the horrible man
But still you love me, you understand

But unknown to yourself, and unknown to others
I'm going to hell, and so are my brothers