chaper 1

  my name is arthur nelson i am an unknown. a mythical creature with no familly conection,meaning that nobody else in my family is like me. i can do things people  only dream of. i have powers that would put most mistics to shame. i have only two powers, but one of them allows me to use more powers. i can use the powers of any one of my pack members. my pack is large, i have over forty members of my pack here in oregon, i have another sub pack in southern california.

   i am also a protector. there are a lot of diffrent kinds  of mistics, and not every mistic can be controled. to keep each race of mistics in line a protecter is picked. it is normaly the most trusted and powerful of that race. unknowns are the hardest to know because a lot of unknowns are hard to track so it is important to get a powerful person to be the protector. i was picked because of my first power. i can communicate and kinda control the beasts, which are mistics that are more powerful. they can not be controled, nor comandad. not even i can make them do things. they do things i ask because they want to. thier language can not be learned, so nobody can speak thier language, at least till i came around. i have been also learning to actualy use there powers as i have learned that i have beast magic. its not to rare but must people die from that much power and thoughs that dont die still cant speak there languge so that makes me uniqe and feared.

   i live in a small house. we are a middle class family with no speacial conection,as far as anyone could tell. but if i wanted i could be the richest kid in oregon i could have the world in my hand, but i won't; my pack believe thats the reason the beasts listen to me. my second in command, also known as my beta, firestone if a powerful alian. he is feared in other planets as well as on earth but he is not as fearce as he  was many years ago, dont get me wrong he still could kill you with a blink of an eye. but he was not my inforcer. that title goes to my third in command, wolf. wolf is a carrissa another feared race that was close to extiction. they are a powerful race similar to the were witches that don't need items to cast magic, like were witches, who for those who don't know are were wolf witches, they do have a limitation on there magic, all except wolf who had none. carrissas used very strong magic and could kill many, so the limitation, or blackout stage as they call it, was a balance to make sure that they don't become to powerful. wolf is 130 years old and has never reached that blackout stage, he has fought many wars human and mystic . i found him almost dead in the hands af a vill, which are the second most powerful creatures to ever live, and his pack of criminal mystics.  i killed the vills mate as a warning to the rest of the pack not to mess with me or wolf. sence then he wont leave.

                "arthur we have company" silver  said to me. silver is one of the newest to my pack. he is a mind worrior. he can get in to peopes minds and make thim think what he wants them to think.he can make them see what he wants them to see. he can heal with the touch of the mind.

                "who is it" i asked. i sat in the middle of a medow in the middle of my territory. some people come to me for help or for advice, but i have had a few who think they can kill me.

                "it is raven" silver said at that i stude up. raven was what some mysics call her, raven stormbringer. but humans call her beth furney. she is another alpha. her pack is small compared to mine. i have liked her for some times now and she has been a friend of mine for some time now, but as far as i could tell she sees me as nothing but a freind and an ally. Silver once asked if i wanted him to get in her head and find out, but i told him if he did i would kill him.

                "hi raven" silver said as she pased him. silver likes raven not just because of me like the most of the pack but because she is nice to him for the most part.

                "hi silver," she said. she walked up to me" we are going to the fair today would you like to come along"

"sure" i said. i acted as if i had to think about it but my head sceamed yes. i wanted to be with her, but i could not voice it.

" cool we will be leaving here soon so u best get ready" for a second i saw what seemed like joy in her eyes but that may have been just my imagination. we left soon after i told my mother and she had no problimes with it. we went with beths older sister, misty, and two of mistys friends. the fair was crouded and i nearlly went mad from all the sounds and smells. i have been to the fair before and i learned to control myself at them so as far as anyone was conserned i was fine. beth knew about my pack but she did not know of my powers. she did not know i had the hitened sences of the beasts of the world along with all the snses of my pack.

                 before i continue i should explain the beast better. when i say beast most people might think of animals or monsters. dont get me wrong they are beasts but they are not crule in the way one might think. they do not care for humans they are the protectors of the world they are the oldest creatures to live ant they can not die as we see death. if you see an earth quack that was caused by a beast if you get hit by a hurrican that was a beast.

"why are you being so quiet" misty asked. i had not realized that i have not been talking.

"sorry i was kinda in my own world" i said it was true i was in my own world.i was truthfully having more fun that day than i normaly have at the fair. we did not ride many rides but we did not need to, we were having to much fun. i did get beth on a ride with me, that was a highlight of the night. my mind rushed with emotions,i felt like was in a dream. i was sitting with the girl i dreamed to be with, so close i could smell her sent, i could hear her breithing, i was in hell and heaven at the same time. i wanted to hold her to have her in my arms, but i couldn't, if i grabed her she might take it the wrong way and start a fight. it did not matter though i was happy just to be there with her.

soon after the ride ended we were on the ride home we desided to to go to burger king to get something to eat i was wearing a dog coller that i was just given and we desided for the fun of it to attach the leash, i had beth walk me in. not many people were in burger king at the time so there was not many people to see the funny sight, but one of the cooks did see it. he started to laugh so hard that he had to go into the back. as we ate we talked about movies and books. it was fun,one of the funest days i had all summer. with the strugles of my pack and the issues in my teritorry, i needed the break. that night after my family went to sleep. a snuck out to the woods to sleep. i love to be in the wood the songs that the forrest makes helps me sleep i try to get back into my bed befor the morning sun rises so that nobody knows that i sleep in the woods. my mother is the only one in my family that knows knows about my powers or pack. my other family members have never actualy meet my pack members. my grandfather saw one and asked who he was, it was silver, but he has never actualy meet them.

the next week i had to start football practice it was not to hard, after all i did a lot of work over the summer and with my "talents" it was harder to not hurt poeple when i hit them than actual hitting them. i looked like i was going full speed thanks to silver and ash, another pack member. but i made it seem like i was not fast of strong so i did not stick out. i wanted to be average maybe a little less than average.  the second week of practice i got a text message from beths sister.

who do u like? it said

y? i sent back

i was just wondering? she said sometimes i feel motherly to people I know

well if i had to tell the truth i have to say beth i said i dont know why i was being so truthful to her. its not like i did not trust her, its just i dont tell people that kinda things.

wow she said

what? i said i did not know if she thought that was funny of sad.

i did not expect that she said

i did not expect that ether but it is the truth  i said

that night it finaly sunk in what i said. i ämitted that i like beth to her sister, i knew she would not tell her because i trusted her not to, but it still meens that i voiced it to someone it means its true. that i said it now i cant get it out of my head. i wanted to be with her. i wanted to claim her as mine. but i could not, i could not ask her, I feard rejection. i have always feared it, more than i feared death.

when school finaly started it was strange i was always around beth she was a good freind. even though i fail in love with her i did not show it, or i tried to to, and as far as i could tell i was doing good. the first friday of school after our second game of football, which we lost, we went over to a frinds house for movie night. it was hard to be that close to her and not be able to touch her. but it went well. than we took a walk at colse tho two o'clock in the morning. in the dark with out much light. misty was afread of the dark so she was on edge, but if she knew what i knew she would have never left the house nor would most of everyone else there. in the dark just out of sight of human eyes was a demon of death,as they are called, they are know for stalking someone in the dark than strlking. at first he followed us for a bit i heard a light snicker one to quit for human ears, it was not till he got close though did he notice me. when he saw me and beth he fell over. at that point misty heard him she kinda freacked out but i maniged to make a joke of it and she seemed to ease up a bit.

that night we sayed over at the house we were at. the demon staid away but he watched the house. that weekend the demond followed me everywere i went, untill sunday night i confruntered him.

"what do u want" i said to it. at first it did not reply as if it did not hear me. i went to ask it again, but he put up his hand to stop me.

i heard you it said. hes voice was so loud in my head. what are you.

"what do mean?" i asked most creatures dont ask me that they know im a mystic,but thay dont ask me what i am.

i have seen many of your kind he said but none with so much power, or so old.

"i have beast magic" i said it was not a secrit most mystics already know.

I know that I have seen others with beast magic but yours is older like the old beasts of time it said, you and that other girl have power i have never seen it before.

"i dont know what you are talking bout." i said. i have never been told about it." as far as i know i an normal, well as normal as i can get"

your powers are so old and powerful that nost people dont see it as power, they see it as a glamer it said. he actuly steped back a few steps  they make the mastake that u are simply glamering yourself.

"than how do you know" i asked. i was confused if i had such power why is it thay only this demon knows about it.

 i was raised by a beast of old, he said he pulled out a dagger. for mos people that would be a sign of a threat but in the ways of the beast the dagger was like a family creast. he gave this to me before i left.

he handed the dagger to me, the blade was engraved with a dragon. that was the creast of gornis one of the oldest beasts to still live, his powers are that of air, wich explans why this demon sees more than others. air beasts can see through glamer. and if he was raised by gonis than so could he. gornis can teach some of the beast magic to lesser beings like this demon. well this was a powerful demon compared to other demons but nothing compared to beasts.

"so that explains alot but gornis did not say anything to me" i said.

that is because he is a beast, he said. there was a hint of confution in his voice no creacure can speak with the beasts, i had to learn with pictures.

"well i can" i said. he did not know, that was odd from someone who was raised from a beast, unless gornis did not like this demon and he sent this demon here to learn a leason. "what are you doing here anyways"

you can speak to the beast! he said. it was like he did not hear my question.

"yes, now let me ask again what are you doing here" i said slightly annoyed that this demon was ignoring my question.

but how is that possable  he said he was serisaly annoying me now.

"if you dont answer me im going to hurt you." i said, i callled apon firestones power of fire.

sorry sorry he said gornis sent me here said this would be a good place to stay....though i dont know why?

"i know why" i said, than a thought acured to me "were is he"

where is who the demon said

"were is gornis" i said looking around i saw his power before the demon spoke again

he did not come with me the demon said. he did not know that gornis was here  he said he had better things to do.

"is that true gornis" i asked i faced the direction of the power.

i did not want him to know i did not trust him the beasts voice was like the wind, quit and calm, and was a nice change compred to the harshness of the demons voice.

"i see" i said, it was not strange demonds are by naturely untrustable. it cant be help "why did you send him here"

what do u mean the demon asked

you were the best choice when it came to trust gornis said no mortal or immortol can be trusted like you can as you can speak with us.

than gornis did something i did not expect, he alowed the demon see him. when a beast hides himself from someone he does not show himself.

you and your mate he said he went to say something else but i stoped him.

"i dont have a mate" i said.

but you want her as a mate goris said, he did not even look at the demon or say anything to him.  and as far as i am conserned it should happen, when are you going to ask her

"damn it gornis ill do as i want when i want." i said, i did not mean to snap at the beast, and it was very dangereus to do so, but i did not care he was talkingabouit something i did not want him to talk about and i hated when people did. gornis just laughed at me

arthur you anger to easy gornis said.he finaly looked over at the demon.from the air he                          formed  words. it read 'hello child'

master the demon said with a bow.  what brings you to this weak terittory

"weak?" i asked tha was an insalt ment for the alpha of the land and from the way the demon said that he did not know that alpha was me.

gornis wrote something else in the air that said 'watch what you say about this land viltor'

why master this alpha is probibly hiding in the shadows shivering in fear at you and me.

'and what about this person here'  gornis wrote

i dont know said viltor  what are you doing here in the weak land

"This weak land is my land" i said to the demon, i turned my back to him so that he did not see what i did next. "and i dont like you calling it weak"

It is weak there is no power in it viltor said. i could hear him take a step forward. and if your the  alhpa than i take back what i said earlyer, you are not powerful at all i must have been mastaken and actualy just saw glamer.

"realy now?" i said, i heard the dagger leave the sheath. he went to stab at me but just hit air. i knew that he would try to kill me just to prove that i was weak what he did not see was when i turned around from him i droped a hollogram machine on the grownd, activated it, and than time jumped th the neerest tree.

what the hell viltor exclamed. he looked around for me he could not sence me  or smell me. i had the home field advantage. i also had beast magic to hide with. and many other powers to help were the hell did you go.

why so u could stab me i said, i spoke in his head so that he could not find me do u think im an idiot, i knew you would stab me.

come here and fight me like a man, viltor said

Author's Note

sorry for misspelling im not the best at that

Reviews

[DontBlink158]

I liked it so far, the only thing that really bugged me was you didn't camp. the names. but other then that i liked it.

[Vanessa Rico]

Ok, where to start? I do like the storyline and the plot; however there are a lot of grammatical errors, as well as punctuation, capitalization, and sentence structure. Many of your sentences do not form a complete thought and thus cannot be considered a sentence. And you also had run on sentences. For example:
"soon after the ride ended we were on the ride home we desided to to go to burger king to get something to eat i was wearing a dog coller that i was just given and we desided for the fun of it to attach the leash, i had beth walk me in."

Like I said I like the idea of the story; yet, it was hard to read with all of these errors glaring at me in the face. I would look up grammar and sentence structure and go back and edit this chapter. www.chompchomp.com. I am giving you that website, because I use it to when I write and edit! Sorry, I didnt mean for this to come out harsh, but I do try to help others to become better writers just as I strive to be better! Much love to you!

[dreamer]

You need to explain a little more in the actions as there happening in the scene. The reader isn't in your mind you need to paint a picture in their heads for them. The people need to be described too, what their hair color is, eye color, what their wearing. I know it might be boring to write, but it will help the reader a lot to know what their reading. And you need to capitalize titles and names.