life (pilot)

andrew has a wild family and crazy friends. little does he know life is about to get more crazy. by wolf5252

ife: pilot (comedy, animation) duration- 

characters: andrew(main) kenna (mom) jack (dad) 

{opening}andrew: hi, im andrew. im in my freshman year of high school. this is my mom and my dad. they are insane. and these are my friends MARK, RUBIN, and KAMAL. there also insane. and me? I’m just your ordinary student going through this twisted game we call life.{end}

mark: hey. dude are you going to stop jerking off and finally f**k marcy? 

andrew: oh my gosh… how can you even think like that?

mark: well… you just gonna keep staring at her?

andrew: gosh… ill make a move when the time is right.

rubin: hah! totally. at this rate your probably going to end up being a 40 year old virgin.

kamal: yah.

andrew: thats it! I’m sick of you guys being such a******s! ill get her one day!

mark: ok man whatever you say. gosh, you need to stop being such a b***h.

andrew: whatever mark… 

(andrew walks in house and witnesses his dad throwing out his 90s tv)

andrew: dad! what are you doing?

dad: I’m stoping my kid from becoming a loser.

andrew: what?

dad: studies show that to much tv equals to a failing marriage and a terrible life. (picks up hammer) and i care about you son.

andrew: dad! jesus! stop! (andrew holds back his dad) 

andrew: mom do something!

(mom looks out the window with a smile and takes a sip of coffee)

dad: it was your mom who found the study.

andrew: ugg. mom your a c**t! you- you- your a f*****g piece of s**t!

(mom looks at andrew and gives him the finger)

andrew: thats it! I’m f*****g sick of this! (andrew grabs the hammer and throws it threw the window. the hammer flies past his mom and hits a clock)

dad: what the-

andrew: this s**t wouldn’t happen if you would just stop being such s**t parents. now if you excuse me I’m grabbing my tv.

dad: like hell! thats a expensive clock! get your a*s in the car! were taking you to a mental ward!

andrew: take yourself. maybe then it will fix your marriage dad. 

dad: me and your mom are just fine

andrew: is that why you never seen her phone?

dad: whats on her phone?

andrew: exactly. (andrew walks away stumbling to bring the tv back inside while his dad stands still looking into space. andrew then walks passed his mom)

mom: where do you think your going?

andrew: I’m going to play xbox. you know? the one i payed for.

mom: you mean the one that accidentally found itself in the backyard?

andrew: you did what?!?

(new scene. cops are at house. mom is crying)

mom: he’s a devil child. he’s the worst human to exist.

cop: don’t worry, we deal with his kind all the time ma’am 

(shot pans to andrew sitting outside in the front yard on some steps)

andrew: ugg… when will this ever end.

cop: sir, do you know what kinda stressed you caused your parents?

andrew: no. but I’m pretty stressed you wasted tax money and time to come out here.

(cop gets in andrews face)

cop: you being smart with me boy?

andrew: being smarter than you is no competition.

(cop moves back and goes to mom)

cop: your boy has some kinda mental disability. 

mom: i had a feeling.

(andrew rolls his eyes. andrews friends ride bikes up to him and approach him) 

mark: parents again?

andrew: yep…

mark: want to go to miracle burger?

andrew: definitely. 

(scene cuts to miracle burger)

andrew: wheres rubin and kamal?

mark: i don’t f*****g know. 

andrew: gosh mark… I’m not sure if i can handle this on a daily basis.

mark: mhm.

andrew: i mean… i can’t even keep my things intact.

mark: yeah. mhm

andrew: its starting to get to me…

mark: yah totally…

andrew: are you even listening!?!

mark: yes i am. but theres nothing you can do about it dude.

andrew: wait… i have an idea!

mark: thats great…

(andrew runs out of burger place)

mark:… wait! d****t… now i gotta pay.

(scene cuts to small montage of andrew moving a bed and opening up a floor panel to reveal a box. he opens the box and cash is inside the box. lots of cash.)

andrew: yes! yes! yes! (andrew holds the box up)

(knock at the door. andrew opens it)

cop:boy we need to talk about your behavior.

(andrew is now holding the box behind him. he slides it under some blankets on his bed)

andrew: what? wasn’t my parents lies enough?

cop: your causing your parents a lot of stress. we get phone calls constantly about you.

andrew: block are number then.

cop: listen boy. if you don’t change, were going to make you change. you can sit in the back of the car like the criminal you are.

andrew: whatever. ill change yah? now leave me alone.

cop : you better cause i swea- 

(andrew shuts door in cops face)

andrew: i need to leave here….