Chapter Two: The Change

The Change

 

One day, the Princess woke up to a beautiful day, and after waking up, decided to venture into the forest on the outskirts of the lands, near the kingdom walls. In a bright, white dress that came to mid-skin, her hair in a usual, loose braid down her back, she made her way through town.

The Princess loved her birthplace and all the locals who lived here. Walking down the dirt road that ran though the middle of the town, Danani joyously waved and smiled to her neighbors who worked at the town shops or chased after their laughing, running children as she passed. 

Though she was a part of the royal family, her parents had taught her to associate with everyone, for each person in a community was needed to keep it running smoothly. Nearing her favorite store, Genard's Sweets, Danani peeked her head into the warm, familiar shop. The quaint shop was small, but held many shelves of various chocolates and candies, all of them delicious, Danani had tried them all on her frequent visits here. There was a large window case on the right side of the store that doubled as the counter, holding different delectable, homemade pies and cakes

Seeking out Mr. Genard, the sweetest old man in town, he was one of Danani's favorite people to talk to. He always had time to speak with her and often game her bountiful bags of free sweets, though she knew her father would not approve. They were always to pay for things they were given, her father not wanting people to just give them things because of who they were. She understood this, however Mr. Genard usual pushed the bulging bags into her hands with a big grin, she didn't want to hurt his feelings and refuse it, now did she?

"Danani, my dear! Hello, hello!" A short, older man emerged from behind the counter, his arms already outstretched for a hug and Danani returned the man's gesture. Bald on the top of his, the only hair Mr. Genard had was the thin, white hair that wound around his head. With bright, icy-blue eyes that always shined, seeing him always turned any mood she may be in into a great, light mood. She loved this man and respected him very much. 

"Hi Mr. Genard, good morning! What a lovely day it is today. I was going to go for a walk in the forest, maybe sit by the bank." The man immediately rushed behind his counter, grabbing spoonfuls of sugary treats and placing them in one of his light blue bags, the same color as his eyes. 

"Splendid idea darling. Spending time outside on a day like this is great. Staying indoors would be a travesty, which I'm sure that bookworm brother of yours is," Mr. Genard said with a sly smile as he finished dropping candies inside the bag and tied the top of it closed in big bow with a pretty red ribbon. Besides chuckling at the man's truthful statement about her Kath, Danani smiled at the red ribbon, for Mr. Genard always used white ribbons to tie his packages up, except for one person, and Danani's favorite color just happened to be red. 

Coming back around the counter, the old man placed the heavy parcel inside Danani's left hand, he was already shaking his head at her. "Take it, Danani. Enjoy them today while at the river. I do not want to hear no for an answer. A pretty girl like you deserves a treat for having to suffer with an old man like me." 

Danani gasped, "Mr. Genard! I come here because I want to....and because you give me plenty of sweets I am surprised I don't have a mouth full of cavities," showing her big grin of perfectly white teeth, causing the man to laugh heartily. "But thank you, Mr. Genard." Danani placed her hand on the man's shoulder and gave him a peck on his cheek, to which he blushed as red as the ribbon on her bag of sweets. The young girl left the store after saying goodbye to the man, who watched her fatherly as she continued to walk down the dirt road out of town. 

 

The sky was bright blue and the sun was just warm enough, with a few clouds over head. Going over a few hills, past a couple of farms, greeting the people who she saw on the way, Danani followed the path to the forest, then as it bended as the trees came near, left the route and treked into the forest like she had done so many times before.

Making her way through the trees, stepping over fallen limbs carefully, she loved the sight of the woodland like this, bright, yet full of shadows, strays of sunbeams streaking through the mass of foliage. The birds chirped in the tree tops, with deer running through the timber, and she could hear the river running wildly nearby. It was close. A few more minutes of walking and Danani came to the surging river. It had rained recently and the river was close to full, with many fish swimming just underneath the clear surface.

Though her brother was the water manipulator, she felt a calming essence from the river and would come by it every couple of days for it's refreshing effects. On hot ones, she would even shed her long gowns and wade in the cool spring water, letting her long black hair soak and float in the current as the water rinsed away her worries, about her annoying brother or troubles with her powers, or other items of stress. Afterwards, away from the prying eyes of the villagers, she would walk out of the river and warm herself, from the inside, out. Her skin would start to warm and the water droplets would steam, her body surrounded by a dense fog and then ultimately she would soon be as dry as she was before her dip.

Today, after spying a couple of lovely rabbits scurrying around, Danani decided to just sit by the river bank, taking off her slippers and dropping her slender feet into the chilly water, which felt good to her tired, aching feet from her journey. Unwrapping her small pack of candy, Danani plucked piece after tasty piece of candy, inwardly thanking Mr. Genard again for the gift. As she savored a final piece, a small chunk of chocolate-covered peanuts, one of her dark vices, she closed her jade green eyes, laying down in the plush grass of bank and listened intently to the raging waters, quickly becoming lost in the tranquil scenery.

 

Snap, snap, snap.

Danani's eyes broke open immediately as the sounds of footsteps came closer, taking her out of her reverie and she turned to see who her new company was. Three gentlemen walked noisily by the bank, talking loudly and joking to one another. When they laid eyes on the Princess, their voices quieted as they neared.

"Good afternoon, Princess," they all spoke in turn as they came upon her, still sitting down in the grass. Danani pulled her feet out of the water, dried them quickly without their notice and slipped her shoes back on. The gentlemen wore hunting gear and bags across their backs, like they were out looking for some bucks. They tipped their hats to her when they spoke with easy smiles.

"Greetings, gentlemen," Danani said in her warm, welcoming tone, which always put people at ease when speaking to her. She then went to stand up, one of the men putting his hand on her elbow to help her up, with her thanking him kindly. As she stood, the man couldn't help but notice the low cut of her dress, eyeing her plump, slightly-exposed bosom, and he unknowingly grinned, not taking his eyes off of her chest.

Noticing where his gaze went, she pulled her arm out of his grip, bid them good day and started walking away from them. The first man, overcome with anger at her haste, and feeling dejected grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around roughly.

"Do remove your hand from me, sir. Do you want me to fetch the King?" The Princess then again broke from the man's hand and walk away, this time more briskly. The man, fuming now at her rejection, looked back towards his mates, smiled a wicked grin and the two men, knowing what he was thinking, agreed.

Danani walked quickly through the forest, and every so often would look behind her, though she didn't see anything. Turning her head forward, she was brought up short as the three men stepped out from behind trees, blocking her way forward.

"Let me pass," Danani heard the strain of her voice as she spoke. She was becoming upset at being outnumbered and cornered. Nothing like this had ever happened to her. She had never felt any wrong feeling from or towards another person in this village, though now she felt like a caged animal, with these men drooling over her.

"No Princess, you will not pass." The first man's grin grew even more mischievous and the three men together charged Danani, grabbing her, with one man bringing a cloth around the Princess's mouth, keeping her screams of help muffled. They laughed and joked as they picked up the wiggling girl and took her back deeper into the forest, until they came to a clearing and laid her upon the grass and dirt.

As one man held her arms down, another her legs, making purple bruises in her soft, fair skin, the leader put his dirty, grimy hands on her bare legs, moving them up slowly. With each miserable inch that his hands moved up her legs, Danani thrashed and bucked, which only caused the men to enjoy this moment all the more.

"Oh, we have us a feisty one her lads," the man said, the others agreeing, as he then focused on running the back of two fingers down her face, smearing her tears and dirt over her cheek. "My Princess, you are so lovely, so fair, so.....fresh," as the man said the last part, he shoved his hand underneath her dress, causing Danani to thrash more, yet the man pulled her undergarments down her legs, causing the man to call out triumphantly to his mates.

Just then, the usually good-natured, kind girl, tried desperately to free herself from her bonds, from the nasty, pathetic men who would take advantage of a lone girl, the Princess even. Her fear started twisting into anger which then transformed into rage. She felt a burning in the pit of her stomach, a similar burn to the one she felt when she used her Fire, though that kind of burn was warm and went throughout her body. But this new feeling, this new burn, was like molten lava in her guts, and the ball was growing larger and hotter with each second she was being molested by these townsmen that she had felt she could trust. She now knew better. She now knew that scum like this had to be taught a lesson, had to be be punished.

With her underwear now around her thin ankles, the man pulled up her dressed, allowing all three of the men to view her unclad, causing a volley of shouts and obscene gestures from the men. Just as the man who had started this whole mess leaned towards her, pushing her legs apart, drooling like a rabid dog, Danani changed.

 

The loving and personable Princess felt her soul morph in that instant, and the giant ball of fire fueled by her uncharacteristic hatred towards these men, became too much for her to contain and she was forced to unleash the power from within her. A surge of fire and red energy spontaneously erupted from her, causing all the men to be blown off of her, all landing hard on the ground or against trees ten to twenty feet away.

Danani felt warm sensations all over her body as fire formed around her and levitated her back to vertical. Her mouth gag was incinerated, her panties and dress back to normal. She hovered over the ground, a square of fire under her feet. She glided over to the man who had caused all of this to occur. He was helplessly trying to get to his feet, but seeing the Princess like this, suspended and surrounded by an intense red glow, had him completely terrified, he couldn't control his body enough to do anything. He just sat there in the dirt, backed up against the bark of a large oak tree, as he looked up into the eyes of the young woman who now towered over him.

Where once her pretty green eyes had glowed, were now only red balls of flames, with the whites of her eyes turning a cold black.

"Wh...who....who are you?" The man managed to stutter eventually.

"I?"  The Princess now spoke in a deep, emotionless tone. It was still her voice, though not the light, cheery one she spoke with normally. No, this was a different side of her, one of which had never been seen or even known about before, to her parents, Kath or even Danani, herself.

"I...am someone you should never have messed with."

Suddenly, with Danani still hovering over him, the still cowering man burst into a fit of flames, his whole body consumed with raging, intense flames. "You shall never harm another soul," she said with her new voice as she stared emotionless to what was happening right in front of her.

The man's shrieks were quickly silenced as the flames continued their assault on him until only a small pile of gray ashes lay on the ground where he had only been moments before. A small billow of smoke came from the pile before it disappeared, though the smell of his burnt flesh lingered in the air. The bark of the tree and the soil where he had been cowering were scorched black.

Having dealt with her main target, the Fire Princess now turned her attention on the other two men, who were both trying to get away from her. One of them men, the one who had held her legs down, then got up and started running away.

"I think not." The flaming girl thrust her hand out at the man and he was quickly surrounded by flames, cutting off his escape. "Come here," was all Danani said as she created a walkway surround by flames leading towards her, making the man come to her as she brought the flames to her, until the man stood just before her, shriveling in her presence.

She looked into pleading eyes, but all there was in her heart was now a merciless void, no space for sympathy or understanding, not for what they did, for what they were going to do. She had the man open his mouth, his body shaking as he did, and the woman of fire breathed fire in the man. He took in the shot of fire and it caused him to burn from the inside, out. A red-orange light began to come out of his eyes and mouth, and after a minute of the light steadily growing, in a fit full of agonizing screams, he finally burst into wisps of light and ash. Every part of him had been obliterated.

An evil smile crept onto her face as she stood before the now empty space, then set her gaze on the final member of the crew, the villager that had held her arms down in the dirt. He was whimpering and balled up in the fetal position, his whole body shook and disturbed the dirt where he was. She glided to him on her burning trail of space underneath her feet.

"Ple...plea...pleeaase...do...dooon't...ki...ki...killll...ma...me," the man was stuttering so much, that he had a pool of spittle around his mouth, tears pouring out of him eyes, "I...I'm...sssoo...so...so...sorrrryy."

All Danani did, still blacked out emotionally, just a hollow shell, full of rage, was encase him in a vertical tunnel of flame, forcing him into a straight-standing position, and the fire column came within ten feet to him, making the man immediately perspire from the heat given off. 

"Please...mercy, please," the man once again asked, coughing as the fumes started filling his lungs.

The tunnel of fire then disappeared, making the man fall to his knees, still coughing. He gazed up to the towering Princess of Fire before him like she was a goddess and bowed low to her. "Thank you Princess for your favor...I will never for..."

 "There is no mercy for the merciless." 

The man's head looked towards Danani nervously. Holding a hand out in front of her, a large fiery sword appeared in it. Her hand grasped the burning handle firmly, and Danani looked up and down the sword in wonder then returned her eyes to the man who still crouched at her feet. 

"No mercy for the merciless," she repeated, then the floating woman of fire swiped the sword through the air, a trail of fire behind it, with a quick motion. The man's stayed the same for a moment, then his head fell forward, off of his shoulders, a clean, steaming ring left behind where it had been. The head falling to the ground, the man's body crumpled beside it. 

After the last man was dead, Danani's hovering space of fire dissipated and she landed squarely on her feet, her eyes returned to their normal shade and a sheen of sweat covered her face and neck, her breathing was rapid.

 

A few minutes later, her breathing settled back to normal after she rinsed her face off in the river's mind-clearing waters. She again sat by the bank, not thirty feet from where this had all began. Thinking about the incident that had just occurred, Danani did not know what to think. She kept wracking her brain, trying to figure out what happened. She had never felt so powerful and unstoppable before, and while looking at her normal hands, the reminder of her covered in flames was now a terrible, yet intriguing memory.

"I can not believe I did that," she whispered, her voice having returned to normal, though it currently shook as she tried to blink back tears of shock. "My powers have never been out of control like that. I just don't know what to do!"

Danani was so numb, it was like her mind was on a blank channel. She couldn't think about anything for several minutes and finally resolved to just stare at the river, trying to calm herself with it's soothing noises like before. But after trying to steady herself for a while, it seemed to not do any good, she was still worried to the point of becoming sick.

"Oh no!" She clasped her hands to her face when a sudden thought struck her.

"What is father to say?"

She looked through the trees and eyed the body and the man's head beside it, along with the pile of ash smoldering a few feet away, the other ashes having been blow away. Her eyes squinted with deep thoughts and she couldn't believe what she was about to do, something she had never done before. 

She turned back around, a dark glare in her eyes, and she snapped her fingers. The corpse and dismembered head caught fire and burned until it was another stack of embers. Danani, the Princess of Telvion, the Fire Princess as she was earlier, did it. The thing she had never imagined she would ever have to...

Keep a secret from her father.

Author's Note

Alright, if you read the first draft, this, along with the beginning of chapter one, was originally the first chapter, but due to suggestions, particularly that of Cedric D. Jr., decided to expand both and turn them into two.

So what do you think of this chapter? How did you handle the assault? I didn't want it to become a rape scene, and I hope I did it tastefully enough to not offend anyone.

Please, please review and comment and Vote if you like it. -Thanks!

Reviews

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
One of the first things I would do is NAME the princess. In the 3rd paragraph her name is finally revealed, though not very clearly as there is no association between the word princess and Danani.

As for the untoward forward gentlemen, I am surprised the King would let her run free from the palace without some sort of guard. Even I remember a video-game years ago where as a prince I was not permitted out of the castle without an escort of no less than 5-guards to watch over me.

And, in the game, they were more than necessary as I was set upon by thieves and attackers.

The way she transforms reminds me a little of Bruce Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk, though with far darker and sinister consequences. At this point, I'm not sure who was worse. The lecherous men who were going to rape her or the girl who burned them to a crisp and beheaded one besides.

Reminds me very similarly of a movie called Firestarter, a young girl prior to her tweens who could burn through feet-thick metal, but her cause was just. She was imprisoned and sought to free herself and her Father from this secret organization that wanted to use her powers for government causes.

Perhaps I abhor violence in any state, although I have used it directly in stories myself from my own sinister characters, and perhaps with even more frightening following consequences.

Still, for an innocent girl who is fond of candy too and, in your words, mercilessly, kills those rapist travelers, that's quite a bit to think about. I like the fact in your story she is mournful of what she does, and yes, as she is likely known by her Father to house such flaming ability, she WOULD be found guilty of these crimes and iniquities.

But like all parents, they defend their own children, even murderers - yes - all parents defend their children even if to be found murderers. Such is the strong love a parent holds for their own, unequivocal and unmatched.

[Cory Firestine]

Thank you for your great insight.
In answer to your second statement, about the guards. This is supposed to be a crime-free kingdom, where nothing bad ever happens. It's peaceful and content. So King doesn't see the point in keeping an armed guard, especially since that all hold special powers, the Princess's being Fire of all things. He believes she is capable of defending herself, though she is terrified of actually hurting others with her powers (as seen in future chapter, *hint*), she does not use them until she is pushed beyond her limit and literally exploded.
You will just have to wait and see what becomes of her. Even I don't entirely know, just yet. :-)

[dw817]

Sadly, I found this statement years ago myself. There is no such a thing as, "no crime."

read moreSadly, I found this statement years ago myself. There is no such a thing as, "no crime."

It is the path that you travel and the course that you take in life that keeps you free from harm. I have no doubt in my mind I could step outside my home now, walk about 2-blocks from here and run into great trouble.

But it is the survival instinct within all of us, to stay in well-lit areas, to be around populated areas, and to, as my Dad says, "have your head on a swivel and be aware of what is happening around you."

As for your story, should she be brought before justice for her murder, even if in self-defense, especially since the fire she created is a deeply unnatural one, her own Father will have to testify before a court to either condemn or commit his daughter. But that story could be left for another day. :)

[Cory Firestine]

That is why this story is classified as "Fantasy", for part of it that I wish there could be a place like Telvion, peaceful and perfect. Yet, you will see later that these are merely delusions.
Have a good day.

[Cedric D. Jr.]

Alright, the overall plot is okay, and if you write it well, the book can be good. I take issue with the start to this chapter because I feel that you basically feed a wealth of information to the readers. For a story like this, it will behoove you to allow readers to simply glean the information themselves from observing the actions of characters, reactions of other characters, and dialogue amongst them. For instance, you spend a lot of time describing the nature of the kingdom, explaining that it's peaceful and aesthetically pleasing basically; however, the level to which you do this is somewhat cliche. The beginnings of most stories are expected to reflect this formula already, so hardly need to say so at all. More importantly, you explain how the monarchy operates: the royal family, its members' personalities, their powers, and the way they use these powers to better the village. The story would be perceived better if you would replace all the expository writing with examples of what you're saying; rather than telling the readers, show us.

I feel that the story should begin with some sort of minor conflict, such as, the river running low or of weak pressure because it has not rained in weeks, and the prince brings rain one night, unbeknownst to the townsfolk, which uplifts their spirits the next day when they find that the river is a full tributary. This doesn't have to be your scenario, but the point is that you create some early situations wherein the readers can see how the royal family cares for its town. Perhaps, the queen diverts a tornado or something. I recommend that you find at least two, preferably three, simple scenarios like these to start the story, using a different member of the family to solve each problem.

The idea is to stray away from over-telling the story. When you're too overt, readers lose interest because they aren't being engaged. You engage readers by involving them in the storytelling process, and you involve them by getting them to consider for themselves about what's actually happening in the story. All writers struggle with striking that balance in every story, and it often takes a third party to help you know when that's necessary. You actually had a good example of it yourself in the second half of the story when the princess's three assailants looked to each other and, without saying anything, made the insidious decision to sexually assault the princess. As the reader, I knew what they were thinking just as well as they did, despite the fact that you never explained it because you didn't have to do so. I'm suggesting that you do more of that in your writing. Increase the level of subtlety in your writing, and this story can be great.

One thing I like about the plot here is that it's reminiscent of Heaven where something causes one great angel to lose perspective of the perfection of paradise and become acutely jaded. That's what's happening with the princess, and it's an excellent story arc. The story can be very worthwhile if you hone it and refine it. If you want any second opinions on anything, you can always message me, and the writers of Fantasy Foretold are pretty adept at this sort of thing; they can also help.

[Cory Firestine]

Thanks Cedric for taking the time to read this. I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions very much. Thinking about what you said, about starting off with a minor conflict, I agree and I will work on something. I was contemplating about creating a whole new first chapter, taking the first part of this chapter then developing some small conflicts. Then make the major portions of this chapter, essentially starting with the Princess in the forest, the second chapter. What do you think?
Thanks again for your thoughts and input.

[Cedric D. Jr.]

No problem, Cory. I agree that separating them into two chapters is also a good idea. It will cause you to develop both parts of the story more, and development is always good. I look forward to reading what it becomes when you expand it.

[Cory Firestine]

Alright, thanks again Cedric. I'm gonna try to post the new developments by Monday.